July 11, 2011

• I’m never going to leave this bed

  

  

  I’m not letting anyone else live my life for me and tell me what’s best for me. I know what I need. I’m listening to my own heart from now on. I’m not letting my life pass me by.

  

  When you’re passionate about something, you put everything you got into it.

  

  Everyone has that person that they go back to. Each time, they swear it’s different, and they’re done for good. But they aren’t. They wish they were, but the thing is, they can’t be. Because that person they keep going back to, they can’t be completely happy without them.

  

  When you’re forced to stand alone, you realize what you have in you.

  

  No, it’s not “whatever.” We have a relationship worth fighting for, and I’m not going to let this go. Even though we’ve fought maybe even more than we’ve laughed lately, I can’t just give up on this. I can’t pretend like you never made a difference in my life. I’ll fight for this if you will.

  

  The problem was, you wouldn’t have one without the other. There couldn’t be a bad guy unless there was a good guy to create the standard. There couldn’t be a good guy until a bad guy showed just how far off the path he might stray.

  

  The reason I am still so attached to you is because I never felt that way about anyone. Cliche, right? Well, I’m serious. To this day, I would take you back. I would take back all the lack of communication and all the bullshit you pull. I would deal with your stubborn mind and closed heart. Tell me why, out of all the prince charmings, why did I chose the most uncharming of them all?

  

  It sounds funny to say it here, just like that, in the light of day. I love you. You hear it so often, you know, on soap operas and stupid sitcoms, that sometimes the words are just sounds. They don’t mean anything. But God, I would shout it to the world day and night if it meant I could keep you with me.

  

  Every bad situation will have something positive. Even a dead clock shows the correct time twice a day.

  

  Isn’t it nice to know that you haven’t yet laughed, all that you’ll laugh? That you haven’t yet met, some of your very best friends? And that you haven’t yet dreamed, all that you’ll manifest? That all bridges will be mended? That all sadness will be healed? And that life never ends? That all of your challenges will be won? That all of your triumphs will be shared? And that the difference you’ll make, has already begun? Well, it is for me, because I also know that if you don’t see these things yet, you will. Could it get any better?

  

  Fuck it. You throw a dart at a map, we’ll go there and start new. Somewhere else in the world that’s not here. Somewhere where we haven’t said things to each other that we can’t unsay and done things which we can’t undo. There we can say new things. We can do new things. And those things we say and do will be more important than the old things. Let’s leave. Please. Leave with me.

  

  If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know, big flashing red lights and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there’s a whole bunch of colored wires and I’m not sure which is the right one to cut but I guess the green one and then at the last second, no, the red one, then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left but then you don’t leave. Like that, okay?

  

  No one has to the right to tell you who you are and control your life, cause it’s yours. Your life is meant to be lived by no one else but yourself. We sometimes let people get the best of us, destroy us and change our opinions on what we believe is true. Only you know what’s right for yourself, you have the power, you make the choices and you learn. Each experience we go through in a life is a lesson to be learned. We all make mistakes, why is that so hard for some to understand? No one should be judged by the mistakes they have made. It’s past news. Everything happens for a reason, and without the hard times, how would we ever realize our true strength? It’s only through a time of suffering when we realize how strong we truly are inside, when we realize how much we can actually put up with and deal with before we eventually break.

  

  A relationship should be between TWO people, not the whole world.

  

  It seems when you want someone, they don’t want you. And when someone wants you, you don’t want them. And when you both want each other, something has to come around and mess it up.

  

  My rule is to just be who I am. Sometimes I don’t take my own advice, but I know that no matter what, I can be happy with continuing forward.

  

  But the struggles make you stronger and the changes make you wise and happiness has it’s own way of taking it’s sweet time. Life isn’t always beautiful, but it’s a beautiful ride.

  

  Dear Thigh Fat, Help the needy? Sincerely, Boobs.

  

  People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life.

  

  “K” Oh, would you like some fries with that conversation killer?

  

  Don’t believe him if he comes back & says he misses you. Remember, he chose not to be with you.

  

  We cling to music, to poems, to quotes, to writing, to art because we desperately do not want to be alone. We want to know we aren’t going crazy & someone else out there knows exactly how you’re feeling. We want someone to explain the things we can’t.

  

  I’ll admit it – You weren’t worth it. But that doesn’t mean that I want to hear it from everyone else.

  

  You never think the last time is the last time. You always think there will be more. You think you will have forever. But you don’t.

  

  I want you to look back & miss me. Miss everything that we experienced, everything we’ve been through. I want to stand out in your mind. And although I told everyone that we would always be together, I know we won’t. But as long as I was the one that changed you, I know it will all be worth it. In the end, everything is perfect. I want you to look back and miss me. And one day, you will.

  

  It’s hard when you miss people. But you know if you miss someone that means you’re lucky. It means you had someone special in your life, someone worth missing.

  

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  • 10:09 pm
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