March 27, 2012

• Get a grip

  

  

  Sometimes there is nothing to be said. Sometimes nothing should be said. I just want to find someone who won’t run away. Someone to look me in the eyes and tell me it’s okay that things don’t always go right. That this is how life works, and how it will always work. That it’s not going to be easy. Today, tomorrow, the next day, but it will somehow get better.

  

  

  She’s the girl that believes that what comes around goes around. The one that hopes for a better day. The one that won’t give up on you. She’s the girl that’s unlike the rest. The one that spent her days smiling, and her nights crying. She’s the girl that would love to be loved. The one that looks so damn strong, but feels so weak. She’s the girl that picks herself up every time she falls.

  

  

  Remember when you were daddy’s little girl? Well you’ve changed a lot since then. Now daddy’s little girl isn’t so good, smoking marijuna all the time. Daddy’s little girl hurts inside, cutting her wrists everyday. Daddy’s little angel chugs down a bottle of Smirnoff on a hot summer’s night, hooks up with the hottest guy around, sobers up a bit then gets into her Punch Buggy and drives home to a family who has no clue what’s going on in her life nowadays. Daddy’s little girl isn’t so innocent anymore.

  

  

  I just want you to know that if you ever need me, I’ll always be here for you and all you ever have to do is ask.

  

  

  What I’m most afraid of is that feeling..The feeling of being alone; of being lost. That feeling when you have absolutely no idea what’s going on inside of you. When you have no idea what’s coming next or where you’re going. When you feel lost while you’re just sitting in your room. When you’re just completely empty inside and you can actually feel it.

  

  

  Whats worse, is that I saw this coming a mile away, and ignored it. Knowing that I could have prevented this, makes it even harder.

  

  

  Oh you wanna talk ? Thats nice, im not here right now, leave a message and i’ll be glad to not call you back. 

  

  

  I guess it’s just hard talking to you when you were once my everything. I depended on you & you let me down. It’s hard to talk to you when every time we do, I feel mad at you. I guess we’ll just have to see where life takes us. Maybe we’re meant to never talk again, maybe we’re meant to be friends, or maybe we’re meant to be together. We’ll just have to wait and see.

  

  

  You know, the right guy won’t change you. He won’t subtly pressure you. He won’t tell you who you can and can’t talk to about the two of you. He won’t hide the fact that you’re hanging out. He’s not gonna tell you you’re wrong for feeling… for being a girl. The right guy will show you off to his friends. He’ll take it as slow as you want. He’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable with. He’ll take you out to places, even if it’s just a fast food place or the store. He’ll actually sit through your stupid girly Disney movies with you because he wants to watch them with you. The right guy will come along someday, you just gotta tough it out and wait for him. But whatever you do, don’t settle. You deserve so much more.

  

  

  I hate how easily I can get over every other guy, but with you it’s like I can’t even go an hour without thinking of you. I get butterflies when someone says your name and the worst part is that I know you will never feel the same way.

  

  

  Sometimes things get to me too easily. I guess its just a flaw you acquire when you open your arms to everyone.

  

  

  Neither of us meant for things to be this way. If things went differently, maybe we would still talk today.

  

  

  Fuck your ex. Fuck anyone you thought cared about you. Fuck missing people. Fuck insomnia. I’m so done. Fuck the crying. Fuck the way you made me feel. Do what you want.

  

  

  I like the feeling of always having someone chasing after me, wanting to win me over and constantly fighting for me. But in all honestly, they will never win me over because i have had my mind & heart set on him for way to long to ever give the other boys a second glance.

  

  

  I get it life, ok? I get that not everything can be great at once. That something has to be a mess. Something MUST go wrong. In no possible way can every piece of my life fit together comfortably for any length of time. I understand that. You’ve taught me this well. But why did you have to take the happiest part? Why did you take my safety, my simply smiles, my heart and my love? You couldn’t have chosen a different part of my world to come crashing down? I mean, I’ll take it. You’ve given me worse. But for once, please just let things fall into place. Please?

  

  

  Shut the hell up and stop trying to make me regret what I’m saying or make me feel bad.You might of cared or liked me or whatever, I can’t read your mind, but the point is you sure as hell didn’t show it and that’s the part that matters. All you had to do was call me at night and hangout with me a little but you …were too busy trying to act like you didn’t care, to show that you did. And I’m sick of waiting around for something that isn’t going to happen cause I’ve been back and forth with you long enough to know that it’s gonna be this way as long as I let it.

  

  

  I was mid-laugh when you called. Just reading your name from my phone stunned me so fiercely that for two seconds, I truly couldn’t breathe. & from my sudden silence, all of my friends could tell that it was you.

  

  

  The truth is, history repeated itself on a daily basis; mistakes were made over and over. People were haunted by what they had done, and by what they didn’t have time to do.

  

  

  You said you didn’t want to be with me because you were afraid of getting hurt. Well, that’s exactly why we should be together. We both fear heartache so much, we would never dare hurt one another.

  

  

  You thought I couldn’t do this without you, but guess what, I sleep great at night now. I don’t hurt because you’re not here. I just had to learn to accept it and move on, and I did. But you, you’re the one who keeps crawling back. So next time you think “oh hey, she’s happy, gotta mess that up,” it’s not gonna happen, because this time, you’re not gonna get what you want. This time, I’m gonna get what I want and what I want, is not you.

  

  

  comment.sub.rec. <3

  • 8:23 pm
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