July 29, 2012

• Just follow your heart. That’s what I do.

  

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  People should be able to love whoever the fuck they wanna love and no matter what you believe, you should be allowed to live your life the way you wanna live it.

  

  We’re just afraid, period. Our fear is free floating. We’re afraid this isn’t the right relationship, or we’re afraid it is. We’re afraid they won’t like us, or we’re afraid they will.  We’re afraid of failure or we’re afraid of success. We’re afraid of dying young or growing old. We’re more afraid of life than we are death.

  

  What I hate most is that so many people can’t see the difference between being lazy and being depressed. No, I didn’t get off the couch that day. No, it’s not because I’m a lazy asshole. It’s because the world and everyone in it was a little bit too much for me to handle that day. Be glad you’ve never felt like that, and the next time I do, try to be a little more compassionate. Assholes.

  

  Life is like walking through a funhouse. It’s dark, people are pushing, and you can’t turn around. You just follow the cracks of light.

  

  It’s like you feel homesick for a place that doesn’t even exist.

  

  I can picture you pulling up to my house, running out just as you climb out of the front seat and throwing myself into your arms. I’ve missed my home, babe.

  

  It’s too late to talk to you, and it’s too soon to say goodbye. Listen, wherever you may be, you still live inside my mind. Something tells me that you are free again, in a place that feels like home. It’s never easy to understand why memories hold our hand but people let go.

  

  Well, to begin with, nobody, and I mean nobody, can talk a junkie out of using. You can talk to ‘em for years but sooner or later they’re gonna get a hold of something. Maybe it’s not dope. Maybe it’s booze, maybe it’s glue, maybe it’s gasoline. Maybe it’s a gunshot to the head. But something. Something to relieve the pressures of their everyday life, like having to tie their shoes.

  

  It’s just one of those days when everything is completely wrong, and yet you don’t even know why you’re so depressed. And it’s one of those days when you wish that everyone would just leave you alone and go away. Yeah, it’s one of those days when all you need is to be left alone. Yet, at the same time you wish someone out there would care.

  

  We are all guilty of saving old messages from someone who became really special in our lives and going to familiar places that gives us that small twinge in our hearts and smiles on our faces. It’s one of the most bittersweet feelings ever because every time that person crosses our minds, we remember the instances when we were happy and complete.

  

   

  I used to be a little bit shy, I kept my deepest feelings inside. Speaking up to you about my emotions has always been hard. But this just can’t wait. Tonight I feel a little bit brave. So I won’t let one more day pass without you explaining what we are. This is gonna sound kind of silly, but I couldn’t help but notice the last time you kissed me you kept both eyes opened. Can you tell me, what does that mean? If you’re looking over your shoulder then you don’t need to be with me. And I don’t need to hold on.

  

  I know life can be so hard. It can beat you down, it can spit in your face, it can do just about anything, and yet you can’t do a thing to prevent it. But I guarantee that one day you will smile again. You will wake up in the morning, and not have to fight the urge to cry anymore. Yes, it can take a while.. weeks, months, maybe even years. But you will get there, I promise you that.

  

  Love, come back here. We’ll treat you so much better this time.

  

  I was sheltered by my parents, work and school. I walked out into the world and saw things I’d only read about. I learned the hard way. It was scary, but I saw I had two choices – sink or swim. I swam. And discovered I could actually make it to the shore, all on my own. Not that I wasn’t frightened or didn’t experience moments of panic. I did.

  

  You asked me if he was worth it, if this was worth it. I said, the thing is – the happiness that I feel when I’m with him is unlike any happiness I have ever experienced. But the sadness that consumes me during the long periods when the happiness is gone is unlike any sadness I’ve ever had, too. It is bottomless and makes me feel hopeless and sad. And I can’t decide which one is more affecting. Can I live without the happiness? Can I live with that sadness?

  

  Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.

  

  • 6:19 pm
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