July 30, 2012

• Easy come, easy go

  

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  I’ve lived. I’ve really really lived. I’ve failed. I’ve been devastated. I’ve been broken. I’ve gone to hell and back. And I’ve also known joy. And passion. And I’ve had a great love. See death for me is not justice. It’s an end of a beautiful journey. And I’m not afraid to die. The question is, are you?

  

  We’re all addicted to something that takes away the pain.

  

  You know it’s been said that we just don’t recognise the significant moments of our lives while they are happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it’s usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you’ve realized how wrong you’ve been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it.

  

  Start writing a new chapter, for if you live by the book you’ll never make history.

  

  Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen carefully.

  

  We were all once beautiful kids, who turned into beautiful trouble.

  

  After the funeral, my grandfather hugged me. And I’ll never forget what he said. He told me that he had just lost the love of his life, the most important thing in the world to him, and that it hurt like hell. He said he probably wouldn’t ever be the same. But then he looked me straight in the eyes; he said that his time with her was something he would never trade, that it was the only thing worth living for. He told me to find that. He told me that once I had that, nothing else would be as important. And he said once I found it, to cherish it and never let it go.

  

  I need the smell of summer. to wake up to the sound of lawnmowers, and sleeping till noon. I need the smell of chlorine pool hair in my face, and laughing non-stop with my best friends. I need drama free days full of bonfires and camping. I need a break from caring.

  

  Time is ticking away.  Yes you’re young, but the years fly by and soon you’ll be wondering what would have happened if you would have spoken what was inside your heart.

  

  I know that we won’t ever really be close again, and that hurts more than you know. But all I can really ask for right now is for you to be a decent person. Maybe even a decent friend. Because I need something, anything. I just need some ounce of hope that things will look up again for us, that we haven’t lost anything. Because right now, all I have are memories, which hurt to remember knowing I won’t ever have them back. And there are moments, when I think that maybe this day will be different, and maybe things are turning around, but those are just moments that fade away quickly. And I know that in the long run that you’ll never be here because you don’t need me, you only needed me when you were hurt and alone. You will never be here for me again and that hurts because no matter what, I have and will always be there for you.

  

  I know my brother he went one way, and at the fork I heard him say: Don’t you follow, don’t go making my mistakes. And I realised what he meant, don’t kill yourself to raise the dead. It never works, you’ll only end up joining them.

  

  When you’re drunk, it’s the worst. The late night calls and texts really get to me these days. Everything you ever wanted to say to me comes out and from that point on I don’t know what to do anymore. If you tell me I’m the one for you, then take me. Don’t leave me hanging anymore, the way you have for the longest time. I’m getting more and more lost about where we stand everytime I see you and I’m so over it. I’m telling you now, if you want me, you can have me.

  

  • 12:07 pm
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