July 31, 2012

• Let your light shine

  

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  Take a deep breath. Calm down. Take ten steps back from the knife, the lighter, or the mirror. Turn on your iPod, lay on the floor, and take more deep breaths. You are worth more than this, you can be more than this. This does not have control over you. You are the one who will form your own destiny, your own pathways through life. Don’t let shit tie you down, or break your heart. It’s okay to cry. Breathe again. You’re alive and wonderful.

  

  There are so many people reading these words now that if you put your hand against the screen, i can promise you, no matter what time it is, no matter where you are, someone else who feels the same is doing it too.

  

  Hope is what keeps us going in life, we hope we will be strong, we hope we will pass a test, we hope we will make new friends, we hope we will never lose the old, we hope someone loves us,we hope that love will find us, we hope when all seems lost, we hope when we are hurt, we hope when we play games, & we hope when we cry, never lose your hope, never give up when someone gives up on you, they may still hope as you do.

  

  You know, after that day I changed. I am no longer the same person that I was three weeks ago. I am not the same person who believed in fate. I won’t believe in ‘signs’ anymore because they really do not mean anything, no matter how bad you wish or hope they do. As of right now, I don’t believe in love. There is no happily ever after. Not in this world. At least not for me. Not now. Not ever.

  

  Keep in mind that your thoughts become your actions and your actions become who you are. 

  

  My whole life has been a joke. I prided myself on taking joy in others’ misery. Well, it finally backfired. I succeeded in hurting the first person I ever loved. Enclosed is my most prized possession, my journal. For a long time, I considered it my trophy, a sordid collection of my conquests. If you really want to know the truth then please read it. No more lies. Please give me another chance. I’m a wreck without you.

  

  Stop wasting your time looking back on what you’ve lost. Move on, for life isn’t meant to be traveled backwards.

  

  What is beauty? Is it the skinny girl with a whole bunch of make-up? Is it a baby laughing with it’s mother? Is it a couple walking hand in hand in the park during a spring day? Is it a big girl believing that she is pretty? But then that leads into what classifies as a ‘big girl’. Can it be a girl who’s 115 pounds or 130? Or what about one who is 165? Beauty can be strange and different. There is and should not be one definite definition for beauty. It is everything. End of story.

  

  Failure isn’t so bad if it doesn’t attack the heart. Success is all right if it doesn’t go to the head.

  

  I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see.

  

  I sit here and wonder if you will ever understand, just how much of me belongs to you.

  

  I hate how people think after you graduate that we’ll never see these people again. These people are the ones who know us better than anybody else. We played recess and gym with these kids. We had art and music with them too. These are the people who we did school projects with and rushed to get our homework done right before class with. These might have also been the kids we made fun of or judged, but when we leave, we’ll remember them and we’ll miss them. The quiet kid, the shy kid, the outgoing kid and the clown. They all will be missed. Even you.

  

  Because sometimes people do actually feel that way. Sometimes your life feels like it’s caving in on you. Sometimes people really do feel like they don’t want to exist, like they want to just curl up in a ball, and go into that place between life and death. Saying “I don’t want to exist” isn’t saying “I want to go die”. It’s saying “I wish that, for the time being, I could go somewhere and not have to feel”. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. And if you don’t know how it feels to feel this way, then you have no place to judge anyone who does.

  

  Mankind doesn’t need warfare and bloodshed to prove itself. Everyday life can provide honour and valour. Let’s hope that from now on this country can find its heroes in smaller places. In the most ordinary of deeds.

  

  • 12:32 am
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