September 3, 2012
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I’ll be there for you
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It’s because people have this determined belief that things will always work themselves out in the end, that if you tough out the rough shit, the pieces will always fall where you want them to; it was just a matter of patience. As if life is testing how bad you really want it. You endure the brutal winter for a bountiful spring, right? Sometimes patience has nothing to do with it. And sometimes, no matter how much you tough it out, you’re not supposed to, and the pieces will absolutely not fall where you fucking want them to.
Some things are meant to happen. Some things are bound to be. Love has a way of making doubting hearts believe. Sometimes in spite of difference, sometimes against all odds, some things are meant to happen. It’s written in the stars. We all want to fall in love. Why? Cause that experience makes us feel completely alive. Where every sense is heightened, every emotion is magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn’t diminish its value. Cause we are left with memories that we’ll treasure for the rest of our lives.
I want to be remembered. I want to be thought of as that one girl who never let anyone get in her way. I want to be needed, I want to be cried over, waited on, wished for. I want to be strong, I want to be beautiful. I want to feel special. And I want to be with someone who can do all these things for me, from now until never.
The hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them, in fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t want to ever forget that.
I hate how dispensable I am to people. I hate how people feel they can just forget about me, replace me, erase me without even a second thought. It’s like I don’t matter to anyone. And hey, I mean I don’t blame you. I’m no-one special. I just thought you were different. I had more faith in you. And you took that, ripped it up, shoved it in my face and walked away without ever looking back.
When you’re thinking about how much you miss me, and I’m completely fine. Remember how I felt, and remind yourself this is what you wanted. Because with every day coming and going, I’m learning how to be okay without you. And I can’t wait for the day when I get to look at you and feel absolutely nothing.
It’s getting so hard to be around you. Because every time I see you, I see a stranger. You’ve changed, and I just miss the person you used to be. The one that cared, the one that wouldn’t ever hurt me, not if they could help it. But now, now all you care about is yourself. Maybe you never did care in the first place, I’m not sure. All I know is the person I loved so much is no longer there. Nothing is left of you. Everything’s changed and I miss the person you used to be.
It’s overused. It’s a cliché. It’s corny. It’s just a line. It’s illogical. It’s troublesome. It’s always too abrupt. It’s never on cue. It’s difficult to say. It will be held against you. It’s too bold. It’s often quite pathetic. It’s amazing how, after everything, I love you still works.
The tough thing about following your heart that people forget to mention is that sometimes your heart takes you to places you shouldn’t be. Places that are scary as they are exciting and as dangerous as they are alluring. Sometimes your heart cannot take you to places that lead to happy endings. That’s not even the difficult part, the difficult part is when you follow your heart, you leave normal, you go into the unknown and once you do you can never go back.
We learn to deal with things our own way. A lot of the time people want to help, but when they try to, it just makes the whole thing more upsetting cause then you realize you can’t be helped. Maybe you’re trapped in this mess, and all you need to do is just take a step away from the situation, and look at it from the outside in, and realize, ‘Hey, this is my life – take it or leave it.’
It’s not about where you are. It’s about how you got there. It’s not about what has knocked you down, it is about what has given you the strength to pick yourself up and try again. It’s not about the hell he put you through, it’s about how much better off you are now without the poor twit that only ever dragged you down and stopped you from becoming the person you need to be. Because in life you can’t have positives without negatives, just as you can’t go through the hard times without knowing that the good times are just up ahead – if you choose to pick yourself up and walk that way.
It doesn’t matter if the song of life that you sing is simple or complicated. All that matters is how much you put into that song. Your life is controlled only by what you give to it. You won’t get anything from it if you don’t put feeling into life. That’s why people fall in love. If they give that feeling, they get it back. Put all you’ve got into this life, and when the day comes for you to pass on, you won’t regret what you did.
Beautiful things come out of horrible situations. I know for a fact. Out of sadness you get a new found wisdom on how the world can look with a haze of gray clouds, how people can be senseless, how you can see the whole universe in a whole new way. And that may be hard to handle, hard to cope, hard to accept, but it is so damn beautiful if you really take the chance to realize. Out of anger, you can feel your heart beat race, with every beat it is shaking your whole being and not only the heavy steps you take. It is when you, your whole self and some power is telling you that you are alive. And that is amazing in every angle. Out of anything there is something in there that makes it incredible. Something that makes it shine. Whatever you feel is potent and it is such a blessing to be able to feel what you feel. You just have to think about it.
Comments (2)
loved this post, incredible quotes! <3<3
Beautiful! (: <3