September 3, 2012

• Smile more often

  

  Follow me on Twitter for more quotes

  Because sometimes you have something you need to say but but can’t because the words won’t come out or you get scared or you feel stupid, so if you could write a song and sing it then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn’t make a complete idiot out of yourself, but all of us can’t be songwriters so some of us will never be able to say what we’re thinking or what we want other people to know we’re thinking so we’ll never get the chance to make things right again ever.

  

  The most important kind of freedom is to be what you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first. You can take away a man’s political freedom and you wont hurt him – unless you take away his freedom to feel. That can destroy him. That kind of freedom can’t be granted. Nobody can win it for you.

  

  I think that’s what I find most strange about this world- nobody ever says how they feel. They hurt, but they don’t cry out. They’re happy, but they don’t dance or jump around. And they’re angry, but they hardly ever scream. Because they feel ashamed. Nothing’s worse than that. So we all walk around with our heads looking down and never look up and see how beautiful the sky is.

  

  I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.

  

  I don’t know how to put these words together, exactly. I’m trying to stay strong for you, you know. I don’t want you to know that I cry. I only want you to know me as the girl who laughs and the girl who can make others laugh. I want you to know me as the girl who can help people. Not the girl who doesn’t even know what’s wrong with herself. I want you to see me as the girl who always smiles that smile. Not the girl who’s insecure about her personality. I don’t ever want to mess up around you, ’cause maybe them, you’ll think I’m stupid. I mean, I know no one’s perfect and I’ not trying to get that way, I just don’t want you seeing me as anything other.

  

  Sometimes you have to test someone. Not because you don’t trust them, but to see how much they’ll sacrifice for you. And sometimes you have to let them go, not because you suddenly stopped loving them, but to see if they love you enough to come back.

  

  I was there for you through the tough times, when you actually needed a friend. Maybe it doesn’t mean anything to you anymore; it probably never did. But it meant a lot to me, you meant a lot to me and, surprisingly enough, you still do.

  

  You are one of my bests. No matter what happens, know I’ll always love you and I’ll always be here for you. Always always. I mean honestly, I’m closer to you than I am to anyone else on this earth, and you’re the one I’ve known for the least amount of time. That amazes me: how close we got so damn fast. But I don’t regret it for a second, any of it. You know the truth about everything. You know things that other people don’t, and that makes you one of my bests. You’re amazing.

  

  I keep wondering where did I go wrong. Maybe I didn’t go wrong at all. Maybe things are going to turn out the way they’re meant to and nothing’s going to stop them. Some things are easy to control and work out. But some things you just have to let go. So instead of asking why it turned out like this, i should accept that it is how it is. There is no way to change it, but I can love it. I want to love it. I will learn to love it.

  

  The tough thing about following your heart is that people forget to mention that sometimes the heart takes you to places you shouldn’t be. Places that are scary as they are exciting, and as dangerous as they are alluring. Sometimes your heart cannot take you to places that lead to happy endings. That’s not even the difficult part; the difficult part is that when you follow your heart, you leave normal; and you go into the unknown, and once you do, you can never go back.

  

  Fuck you. For saying you’d stay. For acting like you cared. For saying you loved me, for saying you’d be there. And then leaving. For turning your back around and leaving me here to pick up the pieces. For forgetting about me. For replacing me. For shoving it in my face that we’re just not the same anymore. For not having the fucking decency to see that what you’re doing is over the edge. Too much. You just keep doing this. You just don’t care. All you ever think about is yourself. Don’t you get it? Don’t you understand how much you’re hurting not me, but her? No, you just can’t seem to see that you’re causing all this irreversible damage to not only me, but her. My god she deserves so much better than you. For everything. For being the thoughtless, heartless, stupid little prick that you are, fuck you.

  

  You have to understand that it’s not easy for me to have to hold it in, all of my feelings for you. I just, don’t want to ruin anything. Between me and you, and between you and her. I don’t want things to change by saying those three, silly words. So I bottle it up. It’s not easy, so please forgive me if I suddenly crack and fall apart in front of your feet one day. For if that were to happen, it’d be completely out of my control.

  

  • 9:01 pm
  • 4 Comments