September 5, 2012

• I threw a wish in the well

  

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  You were unmistakably my first love and I will never forget that. Even though we both have grown apart, both changed, a piece of you remains with me. You will always be a part of me because you unknowingly showed me what I deserve and every guy I’m with for the rest of my life will be compared to you.

  

  Even if we hadn’t met that day, my life might not have been any different. We had met that day because we were supposed to meet. If we hadn’t met then and there, we would have just met somewhere else sometime.

  

  If two past lovers can remain friends, its either they are still in love, or never were.

  

  Would you believe me if I said I didn’t need you, because I wouldn’t believe you if you said the same to me. Near death, last breath, and barely hanging on. Would you believe me if I said I didn’t need you?

  

  I’d like to say something tonight while its not too weird and that is that i think your insanely beautiful- long hair or short hair, glasses or none. and honestly any guy would be lucky to be with you and if they don’t realize that then they’re crazy.

  

  I guess it’s for the best, and is another lesson learned, but, baby, I’m still hurting. Contradiction, you’ve been picking every other girl but me on Friday night. Guess it’s just a test, and this time, baby, I’m not passing, cause I’m not learning. Contradictions, you’ve been kissing every girl but me on Friday nights.

  

  Stop being frightened. You only see a monster because they want you to see monsters everywhere. They’ve conditioned you to look for monsters in every shadow, every coat hung on every door. As long as we keep seeing monsters, we’ll continue to need protection and that’s how other people get to control our lives.

  

  Forget to breathe when you’re around, heart skips a beat and falls right out. I just cant breathe or make a sound, cause you’re too beautiful right now, inside and out.

  

  You’re so good at lying, it could be your degree. Then you could minor in messing with me. I give you a thousand reasons why, and you give me the excuse that it’s not worth your time.

  

  Don’t initiate a conversation that instigates a confrontation. I found a new best friend in hatred that says it’s too damn late to save this. You’re so good at making bad decisions, but even better at burning bridges. Knowing everything that I know now, I never would have put the fire out. I’d rather watch you choke on the smoke, from the flames until I know that only ashes remain.

  

  Stop looking at me. I’m sick of giving you the satisfaction of seeing what a beautiful mess you’ve created.

  

  You were my confidence, and my only consequence now is how I’ll never forget this. You were my confidence, and my only consequence now is how you were worth every minute.

  

  You know, I used to spend every day thinking about you and dreaming about you, and every time you walked by, I lost myself. Do you know what that feels like? And you couldn’t possibly know what it feels like to have that person not have the same feelings back. Look, I’m sorry if you miss the way I looked at you, but I don’t miss the way you never looked at me.

  

  Do you remember your song that stopped playing when i was gone? Well I’m back, so baby turn that stereo on. Do you remember our pond? I held you deep in my arms. We’ve grown up, but we haven’t grown apart.

  

  Sit down, please make yourself comfortable. I might need some time to dance around what I need to say. I love you to death, I think I need a break.

  

  And there’s that one moment, the one moment when you’ve figured out how much you’ve really let go, how much you’ve grown. It takes you back a step and makes you think. It’s that moment when you can’t look back yet you can’t seem to look too far into the future. It’s that moment when you realize you’re living for yourself and no one else.

  

  Oh how you wish you were my homework, because then I’d be doing you, on the kitchen table.

  

  It seems like just yesterday when we would stay up late out on your front lawn talking about where we’ve been and all the places we’re going. We would lose track of time watching cars pass us by and I would sneak back home before the sunrise and how everyday would seem so long and every night could go on.

  

  • 8:57 pm
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