January 23, 2013

• Chin up

  

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  Life is too short to live the same day twice.

  

  I think it’s impossible, to forget someone who was once the only reason you smiled.

  

  I was afraid to be alone. Now I’m afraid that’s how I like to be.

  

  Sometimes you have to play hard to get to find out if the person’s feelings are real.

  

  You have come into my life through a door I was afraid would never be opened again, for many have slammed it on their way out. So please feel free to stay as long as you’d like. But should the time come that you must leave, please, close the door gently as you go.

  

  If my heart were a house, you’d be home.

  

  The wrong people always look so right to me.

  

  You don’t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

  

  Yes, I may still be stuck in some parts of me. But my logic has grown beyond my own imagination’s desires. And I wish I could share it without sounding like I’m bragging, without sounding like I have something to prove, without sounding like a narcissist. But I, once a girl too sad to want to live, have completely jumped ship, started fresh, and moved on, and it excites me.

  

  God made the world round so we would never be able to see too far down the road.

  

  Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are.

  

  They say a picture is worth a thousand words so I’ll burn your picture tonight and I won’t have a word to say.

  

  All the ones who tried to tie you down couldn’t even start to understand, couldn’t find the words to hold your hand, couldn’t comprehend the master plan. All the books you started reading, all the boys you started seeing, every half completed sentiment that you always meant to say, gets stuck inside a memory. Like a miracle unfinished. And you only feel like going back to where there’s no place to stay.

  

  It’s laughing with your friend at a time when you shouldn’t. It’s the sweat in your palms, wanting to know someone you see and the pit in your stomach when they actually see you. It’s being touched by hands that aren’t your own. It’s the thrill of an escape that almost wasn’t. It’s the embarrassment you feel, naked for the first time. It’s helping a friend find something they lost. It’s a smile, a joke, a song. It’s what someone does that they like doing. It’s what someone does that they like remembering. It’s the thinking of things you may never do and the doing of things you may never have thought. It’s the road ahead and the road behind. It’s the first step and the last and every one in between, because they all make up the good life.

  

  You gave me this strange feeling that I’ve never felt before. Almost like I was beautiful inside and out; like I could do anything and still shine in your eyes. Something that felt a lot like love.

  

  The summer when I was seventeen, I was so full of undifferentiated sensuality that the world was a great glowing golden fruit around me. I didn’t long for love and nor did I need it, yet I saw love everywhere without even looking for it. Everywhere I looked, I saw people delighting in each other. But I needed no one. I was myself, complete. At night the summer air breathed onto my face with such promises of bliss that I slept in a deep swoon. I was caressed by the morning sunlight and seduced by the long afternoon shadows. And I lapped it all up in such a daze of sensation that I couldn’t tell where the world ended and I began. I was so much in love with simply being alive that I could have kissed the sky.

  

  • 9:15 pm
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