January 23, 2013

• This time baby I’ll be bulletproof

  

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  This is for the girls who don’t always win, who stay up all night listening to music that inspires them to do things next to the impossible. The girls who laugh, smile, cry and think all on a daily basis. The girls who like, learn, and regret. The girls who may never have it easy. The girls who learn the hard way and live to tell about it. The real girls.

  

  I’m telling you, she is more a treasure than you could possibly know. She is not some wholesome, small town girl, or some good for you breath of air. She is a wonderful person with a huge heart and just the beauty a guy only sees once, you know? If there is even the slightest chance you break her heart, please, just for her sake, walk away.

  

  So please, try not to hate me. I am a flawed human being – a far more flawed human being than you realize, which is precisely why I do not want you to hate me. Because if you were to do that, I would really go to pieces. I can’t do what you do: I can’t slip inside my shell and wait for things to pass.

  

  I was amazed that they had so much to talk about. From the second they saw each other, there was constant laughing, and sarcasm, and commentary, something connecting them that pulled taut or fell limp with each thought spoken. Their words, like the music, had the potential to be endless.

  

  Don’t you dare tell me nothing matters. Everything matters. Every fucking drop of rain, every ray of sunlight, every wisp of cloud matters. And they matter because I can see them. And if I can see them, then they can see me. And I know that there’s an entire world that cares out there, hiding behind a world that doesn’t, afraid to show who it really is. And with or without you, I will drag that world out of the dirt and the blood and the muckuntil we live in it. Until we all live in it.

  

  Things in life do not happen to you, they happen for you.

  

  I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.

  

  Do you know what scares me? When a person can say “Fuck it! I don’t care.” and really, truly mean it. When they can feel that anger surgingthrough them, from their feet to the ends of their hair. It shouldn’t be like that. It should never come to that. There should be… safety nets. Friends, family, something… anything to catch them so they don’t reach that nasty, unforgiving bottom. Once they’re down there, there is almost no returning. Not completely anyways. That past will always follow them. It will forever be a shadow no matter if they have moved on from it or not. No matter if they pick up all the pieces, throw them out and start over. It is always there. This scares me.

  

  Accept what you can’t change; change what you can. If you’re tired of your life, do something about it.

  

  How ballsy it was to just assume you could know, with one glance, the things another person could not live without.

  

  I love to sleep. Do you? Isn’t it great? It really is the best of both worlds. You get to be alive and unconscious.

  

  It’s never something huge that changes, but instead the tiniest of details, irrevocably tweaking the balance of the universe while you’re busy focusing on the big picture.

  

  A real friend is the one who sees you when everyone else is too caught up in themselves to notice you standing right there.

  

  My point is, there are a lot of people in the world. No one ever sees everything the same way you do; it just doesn’t happen. So when you find one person who gets a couple of things, especially if they’re important ones… you might as well hold on to them. You know?

  

  Stop planning your life and let it plan itself. Quit trying to find Mr. Right and let him find you.

  

  There’s just something obvious about emptiness, even when you try to convince yourself otherwise.

  

  • 11:42 pm
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