February 4, 2013

• Happy Thoughts

  

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  I do not care what car you drive, where you live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this year’s cutting edge. If your trust fund is unlimited. If you are A-list or B-list or never-heard-of-you list. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you truly own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones and skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind.

  

  A laundry list of problems doesn’t make you interesting; and never getting help doesn’t make you brave.

  

  Be brave enough to live creatively.

  

  Just because it’s not what you expected, doesn’t mean it isn’t everything you’ve been waiting for.

  

  Find a place to stand, and move the world.

  

  It’s the people who hug you and never want to let go. The people you haven’t seen for months, but nothing has changed at all. The people who give you more than you give them. The people that truly understand who you are. The people who you cry about, the people who you live for. The people in your photographs who have light genuinely shining through their eyes and their smile. The people that take your breath away.

  

  Somewhere, things must be beautiful and vivid. Somewhere else, life has to be beautiful and vivid and rich. Not like this muted palette- a pale blue bedroom, washed out sunny sky, dull green yellow brown of the fields. Here, I know every twist of the road, every blade of grass, every face in this town, and I am suffocating.

  

  Things change, people change but that does not mean you should forget the past.

  

  The prettiest people do the ugliest things.

  

  I want to be remembered. I want to be thought of as that one girl who never let anyone get in her way. I want to be needed, I want to be cried over, waited on, wished for. I want to be strong, I want to be beautiful. I want to feel special. And I want to be with someone who can do all these things for me, from now until never.

  

  I think we spend too much time wondering why we’re not good enough – we spend too much time overanalyzing, over-thinking, and overreacting. We waste too much time putting ourselves down, so much that we don’t ever stop to see that well, we are good enough. You are good enough. We spend too much time with our heads down and hearts closed; and never get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and tomorrow is another day.

  

  If someone wants to be part of your life, they’ll make an effort to be in it.

  

  When you love someone, it will always stay there. I have to believe that even though we go our separate ways, we still will be connected by this bond, forever. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing, but I know it’s a true thing. I know that no matter where you go or who it’s with, we will always be connected. And when we look up at the stars. When we know it was real and it was why we’re who we are.

  

  We all need to decide whether to “play it safe” in life and worry about the downside, or instead take a chance, by being who we really are and living the life our heart desires. Which choice are you making?

  

  Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.

  

  Thank you for showing me the kind of love that people so freely die for.

  

  You don’t love something unless you’re afraid to lose it.

  

  You have to make your own little pieces of magic, like the room with the stars on the ceiling where you could be in bed and look up at infinity.

  

  There are no failures; just experiences that don’t go as you planned.

  

  Missing you isn’t the problem, it’s wondering if you’ll ever come back that’s killing me.

  

  I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you, how good you look when you smile; how much I love your laugh. I day dream about you off and on, replaying our conversations; laughing at funny things you said or did. I’ve memorized your face and the way that you look at me. I catch myself smiling again at what I imagined. I wonder what will happen the next time we’re together and even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure; you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

  

  How did you do that? With a smile and a glance you rearranged my life.

  

  This is the part where everyone says, “I love you” and pretends they mean it. 

  

  Human beings are designed for many things. Loneliness isn’t one of them.

  

  Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.

  

  It’s not about being who everyone else wants you to be, it’s about being yourself and finding someone who loves every bit of it.

  

  I miss you when I’m not with you. Do you understand that? Every moment that I am not with you, my body cries for you. I need to hear your voice. My body aches for you. Not necessarily sexually, although I miss that, too. My body cries for your presence, and it hurts me. I crave your touch. I crave your kiss. I crave all of you. And you are so far away.

  

  You can make me feel so incredibly perfect and then again you can make me feel so incredibly worthless.

  

  Go ahead, leave me like you always do. I’m ready this time.

  

  Everything you say you stole. Every dream you dream you bought.

  

  • 4:15 pm
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