February 6, 2013

• Dream a little dream

  

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  But a lot of times, people die how they lived.

  

  Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless. Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness.

  

  Because sometimes there is no easy way out. You just have to grin and bear it. Sometimes the only escape route is to go straight through the flames, just brace yourself and bite your lip. Sometimes you have to sever the ties clean off. Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can’t sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can’t keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.

  

  Change can be so constant you don’t even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don’t even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant.

  

  It’s funny how big of an impact you have on me. It’s like when I see you, you don’t even have to speak. All you have to do is smile, and it can make my day, and then that’s how I remember my reasons for loving you.

  

  Hope, she’d learned, was sometimes all a person had.

  

  After lying around for a few days feeling sorry for myself and feeling what a failure I was, something would come back into my heart again. I wouldn’t say things out loud, but I could hear them as if voices were talking to me, get up, you haven’t begun yet, you’re different, something wonderful is going to happen.

  

  Back then, a lot was different about me. I was almost a completely different person, and maybe if things hadn’t changed as much as they had, I’d still be the same. However, the truth was, everything had changed, and it wouldn’t be the same again.

  

  Someone out there is meant to be the love of your life, your best friend, your soulmate, the one you can tell your dreams to, but he’ll never laugh at your heart. He’ll brush the hair out of your eyes and send you flowers when you least expect it, he’ll call you to tell you goodnight, before you get into bed or just because he’s thinking about you. He’ll be bursting to talk to you each morning just to hear the sound of your voice, he’ll look into your eyes and tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s eve seen and for the first time in your life, you’ll believe it.

  

  I really enjoy forgetting. When I first come to a place, I notice all the little details. I notice the way the sky looks. The color of white paper. The way people walk. Doorknobs. Everything. Then I get used to the place and I don’t notice those things anymore. So only by forgetting can I see the place again as it really is.

  

  You know that feeling you get when you’re on a roller coaster for the first time? Or you’re going too high on a swing? Or you hit some certain bumps on the road and your stomach kinda flips? That’s the way I feel when I’m around you. Not all the time, but there’s those times when you look at me, or you’ll hold me; and I can’t even explain it – but that’s what I feel.

  

  You learn about life by the accidents you have, over and over again, and your father is always in your head when that stuff happens. Writing, most of the time, for most people, is an accident and your father is there for that, too. You know, I taught writing for a while and whenever somebody would tell me they were going to write about their dad, I would tell them they might as well go write about killing puppies because neither story was going to work. It just doesn’t work. Your father won’t let it happen.

  

  In your life you meet people. Some you never think about again. Some you wonder what happened to them. There are some that you wonder if they ever think about you. And then there are some you wish you never had to think about again; but you do.

  

  Each one of you has something no one else has, or has ever had: your fingerprints, your brain, your heart. Be an individual. Be unique. Stand out. Make noise. Make someone notice.  That’s the power of individuals.

  

  The bottle is waiting, the cap is twisted, begging to be used and so are you.

  

  When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

  

  So fail. Be bad at things. Be embarrassed. Be afraid. Be vulnerable. Go out on a limb or two or twelve and you will fall and it’ll hurt..but the harder you fall, the farther you will rise. The louder you fall, the clearer your future becomes. Failure is a gift, welcome it. There are people who spend their whole lives wondering how they became the people they became. How certain chances pass them by, why they didn’t take the roads less traveled. Those people aren’t you. You have front row seats to your own transformation, and in transforming yourself, you might even transform the world, and it will be electric and i promise it will be terrifying. Embrace that; embrace the new person you’re becoming. This is your moment. I promise you, it is now. Now, not two minutes from now, not tomorrow, but really now. Own that; know that deep in your bones and go to sleep every night knowing that. Wake up every morning remembering that and then.. keep going.

  

  • 8:24 pm
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