February 13, 2013

• Careful what you wish for

  

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  I have curves, so I’m fat. If I wear makeup, I’m fake. If I say what I think, I’m a bitch. If I cry some times, I’m a drama queen. If I have guy friends, I’m a slut. If I stand up for myself, I’m mouthy. Seems like you can’t do anything nowadays without being labeled. So what, go ahead and label me, see if I give a shit.

  

  I’m sorry for everything I’m not, but I know that I love you with everything I am.

  

  I’m so tired of dancing around these big words.. I just want to be honest with you. More than anything I want to be honest with you. But, do you think we’re ready for that honesty? Because honesty is a big word and it changes things, and it complicates things. Are you sure you’re ready for everything that goes along with the truth?

  

  I come across as confident, and women assume that means that I think I’m hot shit. And that makes them feel bad about themselves and so they hate me.

  

  Some strangers become more important to you than family. Maybe because you’re not expected to love them. You can leave them whenever you want to. Every moment together is a choice.

  

  I act differently around different people. Mind you, I’m not fake. I just have my own comfort zone. That’s why I only can completely be myself when I’m with people I’m comfortable with. 

  

  It’s strange how life works. You want something and you wait and wait, and feel like its taking forever to come. Then it happens and it’s over, and all you want to do is curl back up in that moment before things changed.

  

  You know why it’s hard to be happy? Because we refuse to let go of the things that make us sad.

  

  Sometimes people are beautiful. Not in looks. Not in what they say. Just in what they are. 

  

  I know what it’s like to be so mad, you go into this blind rage and don’t even remember what you said or did. I know what it’s like to be so heartbroken, you can’t even look at yourself in the mirror without bursting into tears. I know what it’s like to have so many bad things happen to you,you start to lose faith in everything. However, I also know times of pure joy and happiness. And if I can just keep my mind set on those, I know I’ll make it through all of the hard times. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to find the faith I thought I had lost forever.

  

  Worry does not keep the bad stuff from happening. It just prevents you from enjoying the good.

  

  That’s one of the remarkable things about life, it’s never so bad that it can’t get worse.

  

  It’s so hard, so hard, when you have lost control. It was never as easy as it was before you and I lost touch. This might sound crazy but I don’t know how to let you go. It’s hard to keep on fighting when all you know is losing.

  

  I tried to let go, but fate brought you back.

  

  You’re the only thing I know like the back of my hand.

  

  It’s like all the bad stuff you’ve went through, the people who’ve disappointed you and the things that didn’t go your way.. Suddenly you feel grateful for them, because those are the things that got you here. Those are the things that made you strong. Those are the things that helped you learn who you can trust, who you can depend on and those are the things that showed you what it’s like to struggle, but in the end turn out just fine.

  

  I’m sick of pretending to be happy all the time, I’m sick of having to cheer everyone up when I can barely stand getting up in the morning. It just does not seem fair anymore.

  

  To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

  

  It’s getting so hard to be around you. Because every time I see you, I see a stranger. You’ve changed, and I just miss the person you used to be. The one that cared, the one that wouldn’t ever hurt me, not if they could help it. But now, now all you care about is yourself. Maybe you never did care in the first place, I’m not sure. All I know is the person I loved so much is no longer there. Nothing is left of you. Everything has changed, and I miss the person you used to be.

  

  Here’s to all my girls, be proud of who you are. It didn’t take a man to get you this far You just pick up your head and stare at something beautiful like the sky, or the ocean, and you’ll move the hell on. 

  

  I’ve learned that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves, get farther in life.

  

  Everything I loved became everything I lost.

  

  Hold true friends with both your hands.

  

  And you see it’s hard for me to breathe when I get all worked up with these feelings and I don’t know exactly how it is that we can be so mad we consider to not exist and we both know there’s so much love clenched within our fists.

  

  You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life, but your own. & when you mess with one part of a persons life, you’re not just messing with that part. Unfortunately you can’t be the precise & selective. When you mess with one part of a persons life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything affects everything.

  

  Too many people go through life running from something that isn’t after them.

  

  It’s hard to make yourself do something you don’t want to do…even when it’s the best thing for you.

  

  I believe the saddest thing in life, is caring so much for someone and then one day you look into their eyes and listen to them talk and realize that they are gone. All you see in front of you is a stranger with just a known name.

  

  What’s good about saying nothing is that you lessen the tendency to hurt others. The bad thing is, you never realize how keeping quiet hurts you.

  

  Sometimes life’s not fair, but if you hang in there you’re gonna see that sometimes bad is good. We just have to believe things work out like they should.

  

  There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else; they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.

  

  Believe it or not, you’re in control of your own life. You’re the reason that you’re sad, you’re the reason that you’re happy. So don’t wait for happiness, go out and find it.

  

  It surprises me how much better my world is when you’re in it.

  

  Overthinking ruins you. Ruins the situation, turns things around, makes you worry, and just makes things worse than they actually are. 

  

  • 11:36 pm
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