July 2, 2013

• 300

  

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  What happens when someone breaks your heart? When someone breaks your heart, first you are shocked. Someone will say you are heartbroken and you examine the words break and heart and heartbroken and you immediately decide that it’s inaccurate. You feel pain in the region of your heart and you think it’s your heart breaking but one’s heart doesn’t really break, something else does – faith. You stop believing.

  

  We could do ourselves a tremendous favor by letting go of the people who poison our spirit.

  

  I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands, to speak when words are needed and to share the silence when they are not and to live within the warmth of your heart and always call it home.

  

  You are so young, so before all beginning, and I want to beg you, as much as I can, dear sir, to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.

  

  Sometimes it just takes patience for everything to happen. You won’t get respect in just one day, you can’t be in love with someone that you just met, and you won’t be able to forgive yourself in a second. I’ve learned that helping people is good, but helping someone too much won’t let them grow. You grow by making mistakes, getting hurt, learning from your regrets. Thoughts are there to help guide you to your decision. It’s you that has to take that first step onto the pathway of happiness. It’s your doing that makes you who you are. Don’t assume, get your facts straight; that’s what messes a lot of people up. There’s always the true story and reasoning behind everything. We are all different, but have one thing in common; we all want happiness. It’s like we’re all trying to fight for it, trying to get what we want and it makes us forget the whole reason why we wanted it in the first place. Nobody said life was going to be easy. Life is what you make of it. Change for the better, don’t change for someone else, change for yourself. Don’t be selfish. Don’t limit yourself from doing things just because you don’t think you can make it through. Remember, time isn’t going to wait for you, so make the best of it.

  

  It always takes two. For relationships to work, for them to break apart, for them to be fixed.

  

  A healthy relationship keeps the doors and windows wide open. Plenty of air is circulating is no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive in this environment. Keep your doors and windows open. If this person is meant to be in your life, all the open doors and windows in the world will not make them leave. Trust that truth. “We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don’t get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescures. We won’t solve all the mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers, holes in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again, until we’re calling home.

  

  Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it taught you.

  

  She made you decent, and in return you made her so happy, so happy, and I will always be grateful to you for that.

  

  I’m so mad at you. I’m really mad at you for what you did. But I’m mad at myself too. Because I should not have jumped out of that car – I should have fought for you. Because you fight for your soul mates.

  

  There are things you do because they feel right and they may make no sense and they may make no money and it may be the real reason we are here: to loe each other and to eat each other’s cooking and say it was good.

  

  One day, it all catches up with you. Every ended relationship, every tear shed; every broken heart. You pick up the pieces, you brush them off and you put them back together, only each time you need a little more glue. Then just like that, glue’s not enough anymore. The cracks, the holes, the shattered dreams? They’re a part of you. Try as you might, you can’t fix what’s been broken, and you can’t mend what’s been torn.

  

  It’s like he is driving a car, okay and I just wanna be in the passenger seat, but he’s locked the door and I have to hold onto the bumper.You know, I’m not even asking for him to open the door for me, just leave it unlocked and say come in., but no he didnt do that, so I’m hanging on to the bumper and life goes on and the car goes on and I get really badly bruised and am hitting potholes and it hurts, I mean it hurts and yesterday I had to let go of the bumper because it hurts too much…. it hurts too much.

  

  I still may not know what I want to be when I grow up but I do know I want to live in a home filled with books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren’t covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave home I will be going to a job I love, and I’ll return to a person I love. So, that is the dream I am working on.

  

  People can be so annoying sometimes. With all their stupid opinions and hidden agendas. But dogs? Dogs don’t have any agendas. They’re as honest and open and devoted as you can get. And that’s why they’ll always cheer you up. They’ll always love you. No matter how badly you screw up.

  

  It’s important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse.

  

  There’s nothing more prized to a man than something he had to wait for, work for, or struggle a bit to get.

  

  This is not a good-bye, my darling, this is a thank-you. Thank you for coming into my life and giving me joy, thank you for loving me and receiving my love in return. Thank you for the memories I will cherish forever. But most of all, thank you for showing me that there will come a time when I can eventually let you go.

  

  Deciding to get back together with someone is a complicated and difficult decision. Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who, not long before, looked into your beautiful face, took full stock of you and your qualities, and told you that he was no longer in need of your company.

  

  We all fall for the prick. Pricks are spontaneous, they’re unpredictable, and they’re fun. And then we’re surprised when they turn out to be pricks.

  

  Fall in love with someone who you deserve, fall in love with someone who makes you feel like you are the best person in the world, someone who makes you more confident and stronger. Fall in love with someone who tells you if they fall asleep waiting for your call that busy night, they’ll call you in the morning, but not too early. Be in the arms of the person who completes you, the one who you would like to spend forever with. Be with someone who accepts your imperfections, because they see the good in them. Fall in love and write all of the experiences down, so that you can relive the experiences when the both of your grow old.

  

  If it’s meant for you, you won’t have to beg for it. You will never to sacrifice your dignity for your destiny.

  

  Heartbreak is more common than happiness. No one wants to say that, but it’s true. We’re taught to believe not only that everyone deserves a happy ending, but also that if we try hard enough, we will get one. That’s simply not the case. Happy endings, lifelong loves, are the products of both effort and luck. We can control them, to some extent, and though our feelings always seem to have a life of their own, we can at least be open to love.

  

  If a girl understands your bullshit, sticks through your mistakes, smiles even when you’ve done nothing for her, it’s obvious she’s a keeper. But it’s also obvious you don’t deserve her.

  

  No, I’m not a bitch. I’ve been through a few things, seen a few things, been there and done that. Yes, I guess I’m cold now. But only because I once gave a damn about someone who didn’t give a damn about me. I’ve built a wall around myself, to protect my heart from more hurt and damage. I won’t believe you if you tell me that you’re different. Unless you stick around and prove it. Words no longer mean a thing, your actions are everything.

  

  The things about life that I’ve learned is that you’re going to get hurt. You’re going to have emotional nights and cry yourself to sleep for hours. You’re going to suffer some kind of heartbreak, some kind of loss. But you will also have those moments where you heal. Those moments are the best. You feel like you smile for the first time again. You feel like you’re alive again. Life just kind of restarts.

  

  There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well.

  

  When there has been so much love and happiness for someone, it is natural to be reluctant to close such a wonderful chapter in our lives, for moving forward is rarely accomplished without considerable grief and sadness. And while our sorrow may be profound, the clouds will clear, and the sun will shine on us again. And in that warm, bright light we will find ourselves facing a glorious future. A future of exciting challenges and infinite possibilities, in which the horizon will stretch out before us, trimmed in the heavenly glow of the sunrise of our tomorrow.

  

  It seems impossible that you can love one person so much, no matter what happens, no matter what they do to you.

  

  While you were sleeping I figured out everything, I was constructed for you and you were molded for me. Now I feel your name coursing through my veins. You shine so bright, it’s insane. You put the sun to shame.

  

  You spend twelve years of your life trying to learn how to live, but every time you to try to live in those twelve years you’re told you’re wrong. Then everyone you’ve grown to love is taken away and scattered. That’s what they should teach you. How to say good-bye and let go.

  

  I drink coffee like water and I still never know what to say. I still don’t know how to get out of bed half the time. It’s not pretty or endearing. I whisper you secrets, I’m still looking to be saved, sometimes I am so weak, sometimes I am so strong, here you go, I’ll give you everything for one more chance. My heart is ugly, but it could be all yours.

  

  The world is rarely the way it’s suppose to be. And given the chance, we don’t have to wait for someone to make messes of our lives. We do a good enough job ourselves.

  

  Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope.

  

  If you really knew me, you’d know that I will make myself miserable to make someone else happy.

  

  Happiness comes in many forms – in the company of good friends, in the feeling you get when you make someone else’s dream come true, or in the promise of hope renewed. It’s okay to let yourself be happy because you never know how fleeting that happiness might be.

  

  Nothing is as real as a dream. The world can change around you, but your dream will not. Responsibilities need not erase it. Duties need not obscure it. Because the dream is within you, no one can take it away.

  

  You left before I had a chance to say goodbye. But that’s the way life usually is. It just passes you by. But you can’t hold on to regrets and you can’t look back. So I’ll just be thankful for the times that I had with you. I hope I’m just like you.

  

  I spend the rest of the afternoon trying to explain to her one of the very saddest notions in love and life: sometimes the timing is wrong – sometimes you realize the heart of the matter way too late in the game.

  

  I want to hear someone’s life story. A stranger’s. And then tell them mine. I want them to know everything about me. Those little things that I keep to myself because I’m afraid of judgment. Terrible, awful things that I lock up in the back of my head. My opinions. The truth. Everything and anything I can think of. And I want them to not hate me after wards.

  

  It’s the worst thing to fall in love with someone who will never stop disappointing you.

  

  One of the best feelings in life is discovering that you are still appreciated by someone, regardless of how somebody else has made you feel unworthy.

  

  I mean, if you were to find a shattered mirror, find all the pieces, all the shards and all the tiny chips, and have whatever skill and patience it took to put all that broken glass back together so that it was complete once again, the restored mirror would still be spider webbed with cracks, it would still be a useless glued version of its former self, which could show only fragmented reflections of anyone looking into it. Some things are beyond repair. And that was me.

  

  Lightning doesn’t often strike the same place twice. It’s a once in a lifetime thing. Even if it feels like the shock is coming over and over again. Eventually the pain will go away, the shock will wear off. And you start to heal yourself. To recover from something you never saw coming. But, sometimes the odds are in your favor. If you’re in just the right place at just the right time you can take a hell of a hit, and still have a shot at surviving.

  

  I will find something good in this loss. I will make something happen that wouldn’t have happened otherwise.

  

  You know the beautiful thing about love? It’s so powerful. Nothing else can make people do the things that love can make them do. It’s the only emotion that can make people fight, and give their all to something or someone. It’s the only thing that can make people hold on, when they otherwise would have given up. Love is strong, it’s powerful, and it’s rare. So when people find it, they marvel at the power of it. And they keep holding on because it’s the truest form of ecstasy. The world cannot survive without love. It’s the only thing that can get people to hold on anymore.

  

  It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living, I want to know what you ache for. It doesn’t interest me how old you are, I want to know if you are willing to risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine. It doesn’t interest me where you live or how rich you are, I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and be sweet to the ones you love. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments of your life.

  

  I need the smell of summer. to wake up to the sound of lawnmowers, and sleeping till noon. I need the smell of chlorine pool hair in my face, and laughing non-stop with my best friends. I need drama free days full of bonfires and camping. I need a break from caring.

  

  All I want to do is help. I want to help because I don’t think people should suffer as they do, because if there’s no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world.

  

  I don’t believe in failure, because simply by saying you’ve failed, you’ve admitted you attempted. And anyone who attempts is not a failure. Those who truly fail in my eyes are the ones who never try at all. The ones who sit on the couch and whine and moan and wait for the world to change for them.

  

  You didn’t love her. You just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was good for your ego. Or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the person that you love.

  

  Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

  

  Maybe that’s just growing up. When you’re young, you tell yourself things like “Well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be” as if that actually meant something just because it sounds like it does. I think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. But people are rare perfect unique things and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. Just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.

  

  I saw no reason for fear. I couldn’t imagine anything in the world that there was left to be afraid of, not physically at least. One of the few advantages of losing everything.

  

  I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.

  

  At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it’s usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we’ve chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them. The people that are still with you at the end of the day, those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

  

  What people don’t realize about people with psychological disorders such as depression, eating disorders or cutting is that they are some of the smartest people out there. It is the smart ones who analyze life enough to see the evil wrapped around the beauty.

  

  I don’t know how those birds do it. Travel thousand of miles without getting lost. Banging into windows, being eaten by cats. But every spring they are always here. I guess they come back to what they know. People say it’s pretty cool watching them go. They say you can actually see the moment when at some mysterious signal, all at once, the birds decide to leave. So maybe I’ve been missing out. Whatever. There’s always next year.

  

  Maybe time didn’t heal wounds exactly, but it gave you a kind of armor, or a new perspective. A way to remember with a smile instead of a sob.

  

  Look at you, you’re so young and you’re so scared. Why are you so scared? Stop being paralyzed. Stop swallowing your words. Stop caring what other people think. Wear what you want. Say what you want. Listen to the music you want to listen to. Play it loud as fuck and dance to it. Go out for a drive at midnight and forget you have school the next day. When are you going to realized that you can do whatever you want?

  

  The sad thing is we’re never happy with what we’ve got. We’re silly, selfish and naive always believing that things could be so much better when really, this is the best it’ll get. It’s no wonder why love never lasts. It’s because we’re always taking it up that notch and expecting something magnificent. Perfect. Well let me tell you something – there’s no such thing as perfection.

  

  When you’re thinking about how much you miss me, and I’m completely fine, remember how I felt, and remind yourself this is what you wanted. Because with every day coming and going, I’m learning how to be okay without you. And I can’t wait for the day when I get to look at you and feel absolutely nothing.

  

  Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. The best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.

  

  The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

  

  You should never give yourself a chance to fall apart. Because when you do, it becomes a tendency and it happens over and over again. You must practice staying strong instead.

  

  It’s always been you even when I didn’t want it to be, even when it broke my heart over and over again. It’s just always been you.

  

   

  It’s not like it’s the end of the world. Things will get better for you I promise. Don’t doubt yourself. Go for the things that make you happy and leave behind the things that don’t.

  

  You know it’s been said that we just don’t recognise the significant moments of our lives while they are happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it’s usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you’ve realized how wrong you’ve been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it.

  

  And through all of this I’ve learned that sometimes things come to an end so that better things can fill up the holes left behind. And I’m figuring out that even though heartbreak is lonely and painful, it doesn’t last forever. So I suppose this is finding peace in the fact that I’ve figured out who I really am.

  

  I know that we won’t ever really be close again, and that hurts more than you know. But all I can really ask for right now is for you to be a decent person. Maybe even a decent friend. Because I need something, anything. I just need some ounce of hope that things will look up again for us, that we haven’t lost anything. Because right now, all I have are memories, which hurt to remember knowing I won’t ever have them back. And there are moments, when I think that maybe this day will be different, and maybe things are turning around, but those are just moments that fade away quickly. And I know that in the long run that you’ll never be here because you don’t need me, you only needed me when you were hurt and alone. You will never be here for me again and that hurts because no matter what, I have and will always be there for you.

  

  When you start to see people change, you start to wonder if they were like this in the beginning, and if you just never noticed it. But don’t forget that you once loved who they were before. Don’t take it out on them for changing, because nobody stays the same. We all grow, and we all change.

  

  Watching people is a good hobby, but you have to be careful about it. You can’t let people catch you staring at them. If people catch you, they treat you like a first class criminal. And maybe they’re right to do that. Maybe it should be a crime to try and see things people don’t want you to see.

  

  I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. because if you are making mistakes then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You’re doing things you’ve never done before, and more importantly, you’re doing something. Don’t freeze, don’t stop, don’t worry that it isn’t good enough, or it isn’t perfect, or whatever it is, art or love, or work, or family, or life. Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes, next year and forever.

  

  I don’t understand why destiny would let us meet, knowing that we could never be together.

  

  To every girl who gossiped about me in corners of parties, to those who were my slap in the face, to the close minded or misunderstanding, to those boys that broke my heart, and to those friends who turned out to be back stabbers. You all challenged me to become the person I wanted to be. I am stronger because of all the stupid things you put me through. No matter how much you have done to me, you have unknowingly done so much more for me. So, thanks.

  

  So you want to be happy? Then stop letting the smallest things ruin your whole entire day. If you’re bored with your daily routine, do something unexpected. Stop complaining about how alone you are when you’re surrounded by people who actually care about you. Forget all the drama and let go of all the grudges you’ve been holding. Take a risk for once. Let yourself be happy, because you deserve it.

  

  After everything happened with you and me, I tried to heal. I knew that I needed to forget you and move on. I hurt so much; every day felt like a death sentence. I mourned you like you were dead.

  

  Honey, love isn’t a feeling. It’s an action. Love isn’t staring at the neighbourhood boys playing basketball, or flirting with the one you think is the cutest. Love is saying it. Just flat out saying it. ‘I love you.’ The action of telling someone and caring about someone so much that you would give anything to be with them for the rest of your life. See that old man and woman on the bench over there? Darling, that’s love. When you can stand each other when you’re both that age, that’s love.

  

  People were always sorry. Sorry they had done what they had done, sorry they were doing what they were doing, sorry they were going to do what they were going to do; but they still did whatever it was. The sorrow never stopped them, it just made them feel better. And so the sorrow never stopped.

  

  Children are often envied for their supposed imaginations, but the truth is that adults imagine things far more often than children do. Most adults wander the world deliberately blind, living only inside their heads, in their fantasies, in their memories and worries, oblivious to the present, only aware of the past or future.

  

  The wishes might not come true the way you think they will, not everything will be perfect, but love will come because it always does, because why else would it exist and it will make everything hurt a little less.

  

  I feel like people get lost when they think of happiness as a destination. We’re always thinking that someday we’ll be happy. You know, we’ll get that car or that job or that person in our lives that fixes everything. But happiness is a mood and a condition, it’s not a destination. It’s like being tired or hungry; it’s not permanent, it comes and goes, and that’s okay. And I feel like if people thought of it that way, they’d find happiness a lot more often.

  

  One’s first love is always perfect until one meets one’s second love.

  

  I don’t get it. Why are so many people drawn to someone who’s hurt them? Maybe it’s an ego thing – being hurt sucks, and you think you can erase that hurt by going back to the person who caused it. Then it will be like it never happened in the first place. Only problem is that it did happen.

  

  One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you actually do.

  

  We like to pretend that high heels don’t hurt our feet, and that we always look as good as we do when we’re wearing make-up and our prettiest clothes. We like to tell ourselves that not every guy is the same, and that maybe he’ll change if we’re patient with whatever life throws our way. We hide behind smiles and mask ourselves in laughter while thinking maybe it’ll be enough to convince ourselves we’re really that happen; we tell ourselves we really need to be that happy. But sometimes, life isn’t okay, and it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to hurt, and sometimes, we just need a reminder that we’re only human. And as miraculous of a blessing as that is, it can still break you down, leave a mess, shake you up, and confuse you until you don’t understand what it means anymore. You’re going to hurt, you’re going to fall, and you’re going to make mistakes that – sometimes – you even know better than to allow yourself to make. But that’s okay. Sometimes, you just need a reminder that it’ll all be okay; here’s your reminder, beautiful. Hold on for better days, keep that gorgeous smile where we can see it, because I can promise you things won’t always be this way.

  

  Love between strangers takes only a few seconds and can last a whole life.

  

  At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

  

  There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul and to me, this has always been enough.

  

  You don’t get to choose, you just fall in love. And you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know that you love them so much except sometimes they just drive you completely insane and no one can explain it and the reason its so confusing is because its love. But if love didn’t have any challenges, what would be the point?

  

  You are not worthless. As a human being who walks this earth, you are inherently worthy- worthy of love and kindness, worthy of compassion and forgiveness, worthy or respect and acceptance, and worthy of being happy. You exist and therefore you’re important and you matter. You have just as much worth as every other human being on the plant. So why do you see yourself as an exception? What about you is so awful and intrinsically wrong that would warrant having no worth? Whatever qualities you possess, mistakes you’ve made, or things you’ve done that you feel make you worthless, try to imagine that someone you love and care about made those same mistakes and had those same qualities. Would you judge them as harshly as you judge yourself? If they had the same things about them that you see in yourself as inherently bad, would you think they’re worthless too? Chances are, you wouldn’t. You would recognize that the people you love are more than their mistakes and you wouldn’t allow the things they’ve done in the past to discount their worth. So why do you hold yourself to a different standard? Despite what you feel, you are not an exception. You deserve the same kindness and compassion and forgiveness you would give to someone you love. No one is perfect. We all make mistakes and mess up and hurt the people we love. But that doesn’t make s inadequate or worthless- it makes us human. You’re doing the best you can each day to cope and survive, and that’s all you can ask of yourself. It’s enough, and so are you.

  

  You know what I can’t understand? You have all these people telling you all the time how great you are, smart and funny and pretty and talented and all that, I mean endlessly, I’ve been telling you for years. So why don’t you believe it?

  

  I know that things between us are pretty much beyond repair right now. And I wouldn’t ever presume to try and make everything better with a conversation, so that’s not what this is — but I just wanted to tell you, I wanted to say about everything that happened last spring… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the pain it caused you. But mostly I’m sorry for my part in it. And I’m sorry for the pain I know it caused you. But mostly I’m sorry because I miss our friendship. And however far off it may be, I look forward to the day that we can be friends again, So, until then…

  

  That’s the thing about love – it’s full of possibilities. It can lead you down different paths. Sure, for some of us, can lead to sadness and regret. But, for others, well, for others it can lead them to the greatest future they could’ve ever hoped for. Love is the most possible thing in the world.

  

  If you knew me yesterday, please do not think that I am the same person that you are meeting today. I have experienced more of life, I have encountered new depths in those I love, I have suffered and prayed, and I am different.

  

  I wonder if things can happen too early or too late, or if everything happens at exactly the right time. If so, how sad and beautiful.

  

  Every now and then, I’d meet a guy and think that we were getting along great, and suddenly I’d stop hearing from him. Not only did he stop calling, but if I happened to bump into him somewhere later he always acted like I had the plague. I didn’t understand it. I still don’t. And it bothered me. It hurt me. With time, it got harder and harder to keep blaming the guys, and I eventually came to the conclusion that there was something wrong with me. That maybe I was simply meant to live my life alone.

  

  It was funny that you could know someone for years but still discover something you never noticed before.

  

  If you find someone who makes you smile, who checks up on you often to see if you’re okay, who watches out for you and wants what’s the best for you, who loves you and respects you, don’t let them go. People like that are hard to find.

  

  I suck with words, but sometimes words aren’t the thing. Love isn’t about words, it’s about what you do. And what I did, running away, it was stupid. We both know love is a big, scary, evil concept. But if you feel it, it’s going to follow you around like a hungry dog. I didn’t mean to say that love is a dog. I just mean I’m not going anywhere. I love you. If love beats us up, let’s just beat it up right back. We can do this. If you’re ready to make the jump, I’ll be right there to catch you.

  

  When you love someone, you’ll do anything to keep them with you. Unfortunately, there is also a point when you have to step back and say that it’s time to let go.

  

  I will kill the spiders. I will share my fries with you when you’ve finished all yours and are still hungry. I won’t ever pop my collar. I will never be rude to your tummy- when I hear it growl and gurgle, I promise to bend down and reply respectfully. I will eat the mushrooms when we order the supreme pizza. I will kiss the papercuts. And the door-slammed finger. And the counter-bumped hip. I’ll try my hardest not to get annoyed when you whisper questions and comments during movies. I will be the big spoon. I will let you win at wrestling. Sometimes. Other times I will not. I will go faster. Harder. I will pull when you want. And tease you when you don’t. I will send you random texts and leave you silly gifts. Not always. Not on schedule. Just whenever I want to. Whenever I think you need one. Or seven. I will check your tire pressure. And remind you to take your car in. I will hold your hand. I will love you. I will love you. I will love you.

  

  Don’t you wish you could pick the people we love? Or just make the people we love want the same things we want?

  

  Serious relationships are not something anyone should really be actively looking for because sometimes, the best relationships happen only by accident. I was beginning to see, though, that the unknown wasn’t always the greatest thing to fear. The people who know you best can be riskier, the words they say and the things they think have the potential to be not only scary but true, as well.

  

  Men aren’t stupid, and you don’t need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here’s the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything to keep you around. Anything.

  

  Just when they’d grown so close, something in his past had caused him to push her away.

  

  Could I have loved you better? Maybe. If that’s true, then I’m sorry. Could I have loved you more? I don’t think that’s possible.

  

  As I lay on your bed, with you next to me, my hair a mess, my shirt unbuttoned, I felt so alive. So complete. I wish I knew then what I knew now; that I was just another girl. I tell myself that if I knew that I would have told you to save your sweet words and to go fuck yourself. But in all honesty, I probably would have swallowed my tongue, and let you kiss me.

  

  I think everyone at some point, goes through that one moment where they think “my God, I can’t do this”. But you know what? You can. No matter how close you are to the edge, no matter how badly you feel like giving up, or think it’s best to do so rather than have to put up with the pain – don’t. Don’t lose hope that things will get better. Don’t give up, because there is someone out there who will make you smile in a way no one else ever could. Keep that glimmer of hope alive in your heart, because someone is out there searching for your smile. So wipe your tears and keep your head held high.

  

  I wasn’t sure this day would ever come, but you were. I wasn’t sure love could survive everything we put it through, but you were. You were always strong and always sure. And now I know I want you to stand beside me for the rest of my life. That’s what I’m sure of.

  

  We’re not perfect, any of us. We make mistakes, we screw up but then we forgive and move forward.

  

  I still get chills when I listen to these songs that you mentioned. You probably think that I have forgotten about you. But no, I still think about you everyday, if not more. You were my first love, or so I thought. No, I don’t like, or love you still. I got over you finally, but you taught me so much. And I just wanted to thank you. Those were some of the best months of my life. Don’t let any girl tell you that all you are is an asshole, cause you’re not. Sure you have you moments, but don’t we all? You’re just about the greatest thing that has happened to me. And you’ll always have a spot in my heart and give me chills whenever I see your name.

  

   

  Every time something means a lot to you, you push it away before it can push you away.

  

  I love the feeling after a good run. Or the feeling when my favorite song is on full blast in the car, driving through the country air. I like when my mom makes my favorite meal. I like traveling to nowhere, getting lost, and then the best part, being found. I like being held by someone who means a lot to me, especially when I haven’t seen them in awhile. We always complain there isn’t enough time. Or that these moments never come around enough. It’s true that we never stop growing old, and we mature faster than we’d like. But time is the essence of life, and it brings change and surprise. I like watching the people I care for get older, change, become who they’re suppose to be. Sometimes we all wish to go back, to repeat a moment, or pause it forever. But we need change, even when we don’t want it. The cards are placed and time brings us closer to our destination. All the while as we travel through.. the things we love doing, the people we share our life with, that’s the destiny. We’re not suppose to end up anywhere, we’re suppose to make the best of this journey.

  

  Stop falling. Stop listening. Stop texting back. Stop worrying. Stop getting your hopes up. Stop telling yourself this one’s different. You’ve heard this story time and time before and you know how it ends. He’s playing that game you keep losing.

  

  You have to get hurt. That’s how you learn. The strongest people out there, the ones who laugh the hardest with a genuine smile, those are the people who have fought the toughest battles. Because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down, they’re showing the world who’s the boss.

  

  I hid my deepest feelings so well I forgot where I placed them.

  

  It’s always the last days of summer and I’ve been left out in the cold with no door to get back in. I’ll grant you I’ve had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by when they’re busy making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there’s almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent.

  

  Perhaps it is good to have a beautiful mind, but an even greater gift is to discover a beautiful heart.

  

  Everyone has that person that they go back to. Each time, they swear it’s different, and they’re done for good. But they aren’t. They wish they were, but the thing is, they can’t be. Because that person they keep going back to, they can’t be completely happy without them.

  

  People who go to college are incredible. We go to classes. We sleep very little. We become attached to close friends. We all have separate lives, families, backgrounds, and pasts. We live totally different from how we used to live. We are frustrated and sometimes want to give up, but we never stop trying. We try to sort out our minds, which are filled with studies, worries, problems, memories, emotions. We hurt — a lot. We keep going though, because above all else, we never stop learning, growing, changing, and most important, dreaming. Dreams keep us going and they always will. All we can do is be thankful that we have something to hold onto, like dreams and each other.

  

  Although I’m sure there are plenty of tall, gorgeous, life-of-the-party guys who are also true to their wives, I happen to beieve that a disproportionate number of them are cheaters.

  

  I think when you are young, you are hoping that the person will be the right one, that one you are going to be in love with forever. But sometimes, you want that so much, you create something that isn’t there. It’s easier to walk away than fight for what you really want.

  

  I wish I could explain it so someone could understand it. I’m afraid it’s something I can’t put into words. There’s just this heavy, overwhelming despair – dreading everything. Dreading life. Empty inside, to the point of numbness. It’s like there’s something already dead inside. My whole being has been pulling back into that void for months.

  

  The girl in the mirror wasn’t who I wanted to be and her life wasn’t the one I wanted to have.

  

  I need someone to prove to me that I’m worth it, really worth it to them. Maybe all I need is a person who can show me that everyone is not the same. Honestly, I thought you were that person but I was wrong. Is it too much to ask for someone to take a risk on me, to fight for me, to actually care enough to not let something go; the way I did for you? You never even thanked me. I acted the way I did because I cared. I didn’t realize it then, but I do now. I don’t do that for just anyone. So, call me crazy, but today.. today i realized that I can’t keep waiting for you. I’m moving on, I can’t stay in one place waiting. I can’t be around you anymore. I’m not over it, I don’t get over things fast, I never have, no matter how much I try and convince myself. I’ll see you around sometime. I keep thinking maybe somehow, something will click and everything will go back to the way it was in the beginning. Maybe we could go back to that, but too much has been said and done. So, maybe you’ll get one more chance from me, maybe you won’t.

  

  I hate being in this position. I’m forcing myself to let go of the one person I need in my life. You’re the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me. I know that I’m better off without you, but I feel empty whenever I try to let go.

  

  It’s not about how to achieve your dreams, it’s about how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, the dreams will come to you.

  

  There comes a point when you just love someone. Not because they’re good, or bad, or anything really. You just love them. It doesn’t mean you’ll be together forever. It doesn’t mean you won’t hurt each other. It just means you love them.

  

  We all witnessed, discussed, and made a mental note of our friends’ so-called ‘failures’ through life, particularly in relationships. Yet when it came to making our own choices, we always thought that, somehow, it would be different for us. That the man we met would never cheat on us, that we in turn would never cheat on them. We had to have that eternal optimism, or none of us would ever get married or make any level of commitment in life.

  

  People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.

  

  You’re perfect because everything you do makes me smile. Because every second spent with you is worthwhile. Because when you laugh at me, I laugh too. Because everyone else can see that I’m devoted to you. Because I love your eyes and the way they shine. Because you don’t tell lies & you’re so cute when you whine. Because when you get mad, you can’t hide it. Because, even when you’re sad, I can find it. Because the way you hold me sends shivers down my spine. Because your spirits so free & you’re just so damn fine. Because I never stop thinking about you. It’s not fair. Because you’re so perfect, no one else can compare.

  

  It’s those moments when you hang around in a room full of friends, where you gasp for breath between each laugh. It’s those moments where you get high just breathing in so deep, you feel your lungs getting cold. For a second, that split second, you don’t care. You don’t care about school, about parents, about money, about rules, or broken hearts. Who you care about are the kids sitting next to you. Cause it’s all we really need, isn’t it? Those kids next to you. Yeah, the ones who make you feel invincible, even at your weakest points.

  

  I believe in fate, and I believe you were supposed to walk into my life.

  

  Don’t worry girls, one day you’ll find a guy who will ruin your lipstick, not your mascara.

  

  For me, when I picture the person I want to end up with, I don’t think about what their career is, or what they look like. I picture the feeling I get when I’m with them.

  

  I’ve realized that when I’m with you, the world goes away. When you look at me with your amazing eyes, I could stay with you forever. And that every time we’re talking, I constantly have a smile on my face.

  

  I used to care a lot what people thought about me, then I learned I definitely can’t please everyone, some people will like you, and some people will hate you, but I really don’t care either way. I’m not losing sleep over it.

  

  I don’t know if it’s going to work out, but I can promise you this: I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one, you never give up.

  

  I find it really hard to accept that some things in life will never go back to the way it used to be, and all I can do is think about it all the time, wishing I could re-live it. When I close my eyes, I think about all the good times we had.. but it’s all in the past, and I can never get it back. I loved those days, and I miss them so much. It hurts to know that those memories will always stay in my mind no matter what I do.. but I know it’s impossible to go back.

  

  The memory fades, and I’m left grasping on to the ghosts of his words.

  

  You can make yourself happy, or you can make yourself sad. There’s the same amount of work in both. But the benefit of happiness is far more fulfilling.

  

  Somehow I can’t believe that there are any heights that can’t be scaled by a man who knows the secret of making dreams come true. This special secret, it seems to me, can be summarized in the four C’s. They are curiosity, confidence, courage and constancy, and the greatest of these is confidence. When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionably.

  

  I never stopped loving you. Even when I tried desperately to forget you, I couldn’t.

  

  I’ve been kinda depressed. Yeah, you see, I have this boyfriend, and I thought everything was going great, but apparently it’s not. Apparently, he cares about his job more than he cares about me, and I know he would probably say that wasn’t true and that I’m just being some hysterical drama queen, but I suppose if it wasn’t true, he’d pretty much know everything that was going on in my life, wouldn’t he?

  

  We are told to remember the idea, not the man. Because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I’ve witnessed firsthand the power of ideas. I’ve seen people kill in the name of them; and die defending them. But you cannot touch an idea, cannot hold it or kiss it. An idea does not bleed, it cannot feel pain, and it does not love.

  

  Maybe he was real. Maybe I’d made him up. Either way, he didn’t think I needed him anymore. Maybe he was right.

  

  I’ve been waiting my whole life for the right guy to come along, and then you showed up, and you’re nothing like the man I imagined. You’re cynical, cranky and impossible. But, the truth is fighting for you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I think that there’s a very good chance that I’m falling in love with you.

  

  The problem with fairytales is that they set a girl up for disappointment. In real life the princes goes off with the wrong princess, or the spell wears off and two lovers realize that they’re better of as… As well as whatever they are.

  

  Well, let’s face it, you’re not stupid. You knew there were a lot of things wrong in the relationship, you just chose to ignore them because there were so many good things you didn’t want to give up. Now, you’re at the point in your life where you’re strong enough to give up the good stuff. You’re strong enough to expect more from your life. I’m proud of your for that. Most women aren’t that strong. They’re so terrified of being alone that they stay with the wrong guy, rather than risk loneliness waiting for the right guy.

  

  When you crave him more than anything else you’ve ever craved before and when people talk about him, or when someone who has the same name as him and you get that feeling in your gut that’s absolutely indescribable and you think about him in every context of every way, you’re in love.

  

  There are days when everything seems wrong, when little things hurt you for no good reason. And then there are days, when the world just sings to you, from the minutes you open your eyes to the minute you shut them again at night.

  

  To those of you who have pushed me, thank you- without you I wouldn’t have fallen. To those of you who laughed at me, thank you- without you I wouldn’t have cried. To those of you who just couldn’t love me, thank you- without you I wouldn’t have known real love. To those of you who hurt my feelings, thank you- without you I wouldn’t have felt them. To those of you who left me lonely, thank you- without you I wouldn’t have discovered myself, but it is to those of you who thought I couldn’t do it– it is to you I thank the most because, without you I wouldn’t have tried.

  

  One thing I have to say about her and dating is this: she never blew us off for a guy. She always put her friends first which is an amazing thing for a high school girl to do.

  

  Don’t let your happiness depend on something you may lose.

  

  See when you’re mad, you don’t miss people. So if you stay mad, it’s like you never knew them at all. That way you don’t feel sucky about them leaving you.

  

  Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day. It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them.

  

  Well, because sometimes you love someone but they might not be the right person for you. That takes some time to figure out.

  

  Some people are afraid of what they might find if they try to analyze themselves too much, but you have to crawl into your wounds to discover where your fears are, once the bleeding starts, the cleansing can begin.

  

  I hate to say it, but shit really does happen. You just have to get over it. Beat the hell out of it by doing things that make you happy.

  

  The thing is that when you’re young, you’ll always think you’ll meet all sorts of wonderful people, that drifting apart and losing friends is natural. You don’t worry, at first, about the friends you leave behind. But as you get older, it gets harder to build friendships. Too many defenses, too little opportunity. You get busy. And by the time you realize you’ve lost the dearest best friend you’ve ever had, years have gone by and you’re mature enough to be embarrassed by your attitude and, frankly, by your arrogance.

  

  Sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith. You may not see it now, but once you jump, the net to catch you will appear.

  

  I don’t know what it is about really getting to know someone new. When you first start talking to someone, there is this unspoken awkwardness that lingers, and you never know when exactly it goes away, but eventually it does. You become comfortable and you let yourself get to know them, and you let them get to know you. Flaws, quirks, hobbies, pet peeves, all of it you learn and start to love. And that’s what I love about getting to know someone; it’s the closest you will ever feel to someone.

  

  When it comes to men who are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do.

  

  That’s why I loved being with you. We could do the simplest things, like tossing starfish into the ocean and share a burger and talk and ever then I knew that I was fortunate. Because you were the first guy who wasn’t constantly trying to impress me. You accepted who you were, but more than that, you accepted me for me. And nothing else mattered. Not my family or you’re family or anyone else in the world. It was just us.

  

  I tell myself that I know you, and then when I think about it, I realize that I don’t.

  

  I’ve formed a bad case of the 3:00 am guilts – you know, when you lie in bed awake and replay all those things you didn’t do right? Because, as we all know, nothing solves insomnia like a nice warm glass of regret, depression, and self-loathing.

  

  I’m going to find a way to be happy, and I’d really love to be happy with you, but if I can’t be happy with you, then I’ll find a way to be happy without you.

  

  The saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, happiness is only temporary because there’s nothing to make it last.

  

  You know what hurts most? The seconds in the morning where you’ve just woken up, and for those mere precious seconds, you’ve forgotten the reasons you’re unhappy; the reasons you’re so broken. And then it hits you again, like a stab to the heart, and you remember all the reasons you didn’t want to wake up. Yeah, that hurts.

  

  That makes me nervous for some reason, to think that something that’s such a big deal now could end up being nothing in the future.

  

  Everyday is amazing. Even if it’s awful. Because everything is for a reason. Because I know that this horrible thing that happens today will bring me something amazing tomorrow.

  

  Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there’s a tomorrow. Maybe for you there’s one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers. So much time you can waste it. But for some of us there’s only today. And the truth is, you never really know.

  

  Do you ever want to walk away from your life? Do you ever think this life is not exactly what you had planned? Do you ever crave something, anything that could wake you up?

  

  And I wanted to be offered help from people because they cared about me, not because they felt some strange social obligation to do so. I wanted the world to sit back, listen up, and let me explain to it that when someone is sad and hopeless, the last thing they need to feel is that they are the only ones in the world with that feeling. So, if you feel sorry for someone, don’t pretend to be happy. Don’t pretend to care only about their problems. People aren’t stupid. Not all of us, anyway.

  

  Coincidences mean you’re on the right path.

  

  Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect him to always say the right thing and always know exactly how you feel or exactly how to react to it. You expect him to calm you down when you’re yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely and utterly defeated when something doesn’t exactly match up with your plans. But that’s the thing – love isn’t a plan. It doesn’t have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end of a visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens and it is so incredibly messy.

  

  I want to tell you, again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. Tonight I feel that my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you.

  

  No matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

  

  It’s beautiful when you find someone that is in love with your mind. Someone that wants to undress your conscience and make love to your thoughts. Someone that wants to watch you slowly take down all the walls you’ve built up around your mind and let them inside.

  

  Finding new ways to hurt each other is what we’re good at.

  

  Just because you accept help from someone, doesn’t mean you have failed. It just means you’re not in it alone.

  

  What made you happy once might not make you happy now.

  

  Addiction is a decision. An individual wants something, whatever that something is, and makes a decision to get it. Once they have it, they make a decision to take it. If they take it too often, that process of decision making gets out of control, and if it gets far out of control, it becomes an addiction. At that point the decision is a difficult one to make, but it is still a decision. Do I or don’t I. Am I going to take or am I not going to waste my life or am I going to say no and try and stay sober and be a decent person. It is a decision. Each and every time. A decision. String enough of those decisions together and you set a course and you set a standard of living. Addict or human. Genetics do not make that call. They are just an excuse. They allow people to say it wasn’t my fault I am genetically predisposed. It wasn’t my fault I was programmed from day one. It wasn’t my fault I didn’t have any say in the matter. Bull. There is always a decision. Take responsibility for it. Addict or human. It’s a decision. Each and every time.

  

  Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

  

  I’ve lived long enough to know that everyone handled grief in different ways, and little by little, they all seemed to accept their new lives.

  

  When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap, and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there’s no safety net. When did it stop being fun, and start being scary? I decided to leave fear behind and have some fun.

  

  People may not tell you how they feel about you, but they always show you. Pay attention.

  

  Falling in love with him felt that way. I felt strange things going on inside me, and I knew that these weren’t things I would recover from. These were changes that were shaping the way things were going to be, and I wouldn’t find out how until later.

  

  My attitude toward friendship has remained the same. I will support and encourage you with all the love in my heart, but if it’s not reciprocal  I gotta go. When the envy and negativity of others start to undermine your confidence, you have to find comfort in other places. If your friends are bitter about your success to the extent that they act out, don’t expect them to change. They aren’t evolved enough to understand that opportunity creates more opportunity. Move on. You’ll make new friends who will be drawn to your frequency, and you to theirs. You can’t thrive in toxic relationships. This is an unfortunate fact of life, and as soon as you recognize the tactics of a threatened ego, the faster you’ll be able to sidestep its emotional land mines.

  

  And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it’s already happened.

  

  I don’t remember why it all went so wrong. I mean, I do remember. I remember what I did. I just don’t remember why anymore. This – you and me – this feels so right. It just seems stupid – so stupid- that we had it before, and we let it go.

  

  That’s the trouble with a brain, it thinks more than you sometimes want it to.

  

  I’ll miss the smell of the rain on my road, the dirty streets of the town I call home. My friends that kept me from feeling alone and the broken promises you made that forced me to grow. And I’ll miss the paths I’ve walked a thousand times, the mistakes that I made, the lessons learned from the nights that I spent with my friends in this town I resent, all because this is the last of time that I’ll spend around here.

  

  We think that there’s this predetermined fate for all of us, that everything has been perfectly planned and neatly set out for each and every one of us. Here’s the truth. The truth is that we make our own choices. And we ourselves determine our future. There are no plans made out in stone, there no intricate sequences of events made to happen exactly the way they were set out. We live our own lives, we make our own choices, and figure out our own place in the world. We are our own heroes, we are each our very own lifeplanner.

  

  We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

  

  I’d given my heart to someone who didn’t want it. Even knowing that, I didn’t regret it. I just wanted him to love me. I just wanted him to love me too.

  

  It seemed cruelly unfair to me, even then, how fast your life can change before you have an opportunity to rethink your choices. We should get second chances on the big stuff. We should come equipped with erasers attached to the tops of our heads. Like pencils. We should be able to flip over and scribble away mistakes, at least once or twice during the duration of our existence, especially in matters of life and death. 

  

  Sometimes the answer we need is in our heart. We just have to listen to it.

  

  From the way that people have always talked about your heart being broken, it sort of seemed to be a one-time thing. Mine seemed to break all the time.

  

  We all think we’re going to be great and we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But sometimes our expectations sell us short. Sometimes the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You got to wonder why we cling to our expectations, because the expected is just what keeps us steady. Standing. Still, the expected’s just the beginning, the unexpected is what changes our lives.

  

  Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check his watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out.

  

  Your tongue is twisted with words half-spoken and thoughts unclear.

  

  If you spent your life concentrating on what everyone else thought of you, would you forget who you really were? What if the face you showed the world turned out to be a mask… with nothing beneath it.

  

  Never think you are nothing. Never cry at night for not being pretty enough. And never tell yourself you’re not good enough, because to someone out there, you’re everything. And somebody else probably thinks the world of you. You may not know who they are, but they do exist. So don’t ever think that way about yourself.

  

  She was beautiful, but she was beautiful in a way a forest fire was beautiful.

  

  It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn’t cross. Because love isn’t about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It’s about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty are worth it.

  

  You can be happy wrapped up in things that are bad for you. And things that are good for you can make you absolutely miserable.

  

  It is a curious thing, the death of a loved one. We all know that our time in this world is limited, and that eventually all of us will end up underneath some sheet, never to wake up. And yet it is always a surprise when it happens to someone we know. It is like walking up the stairs to your bedroom in the dark, and thinking there is one more stair than there is. Your foot falls down, through the air, and there is a sickly moment of dark surprise as you try and readjust the way you thought of things.

  

  Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be hard on yourself – and be lenient to everybody else.

  

  I think – I think when it’s all over it just comes back in flashes, you know? It’s like a kaleidoscope of memories, it just all comes back. But he never does. I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen. It’s not really anything he said or anything he did. It was the feeling that came along with it. And the crazy thing is I don’t know if I’m ever gonna feel that way again. But I don’t know if I should. I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright. But I just thought: how can the devil be pulling you towards someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you? Maybe he knew that, when he saw me. I guess I just lost my balance. I think that the worst part of it all wasn’t losing him; it was losing me. I don’t know if you know who you are, until you lose who you are.

  

  People say everything happens for a reason. These people are usually women. And these women are usually sorting through a break up. It seems that men can get out of a relationship without even a good-bye, but apparently women have to either get married or learn something. Why are we in such a rush to move from confused to Confucius? Do we search for ‘lessons’ to lessen the pain?

  

  To all of you who are having any sense of self-doubt: You are beautiful. Each and every one of you. Don’t let anybody get you down. You deserve to be respected, to be trusted, to be loved. We all have those things that we can pick out about ourselves that we just hate. “My legs are huge” or “my hair is too frizzy”. But for every negative thing you think about yourself, I’m sure you can easily match with something positive. Everybody out there has something special; unique about them that makes them irresistible. Sooner or later you will learn that you are lucky to be you. Embrace who you are. Be grateful for what you do have. Don’t waste time running from the person you are. Focus on becoming the person you want to be. We all have potential to be somebody great. We can change lives if we want to. All you have to do is believe in yourself. Don’t put up with other people’s negativity, and don’t give in to their put-downs. If somebody doesn’t like you, then that’s their loss. Girls these days are too hung up on looks and weight and the boys that don’t like them. Be who you are. Do what you like to do. Eventually, you’ll find somebody who appreciates all of that and will love you. Have faith in yourself. That’s all there is to do.

  

  Some say that love is the sweetest feeling, the purest form of joy, but that isn’t right. It’s not love – it’s relief.

  

  I just feel trapped. I don’t really know what I’m being trapped by though. I just feel this heavy weight on my chest. Like I can’t move and every breath gets harder to take. Like a skyscraper collapsed and I was expected to catch it singlehandedly. I feel buried alive by burdens, both my burdens and others. I cannot rid myself of these overwhelming feelings of claustrophobia. Save me from this weight, it’s crushing me slowly.

  

  Go after her. Fuck, don’t sit there and wait for her to call. Go after her because that’s what you do if you love someone. Don’t wait for them to give you a sign because it might never come. Don’t let people happen to you. Don’t let me happen to you, or her. She’s not a fucking television show or a tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the plane or run down the street after me or called me up at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this. And I always thought I’d be the one going crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back, or to act like an idiot, or be entirely vulnerable and honest. And making someone fall in love with you isn’t fucking easy, and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you can’t just sit there are do nothing, and breathing into telephones is not everyone’s idea of love but it’s the way I can recognize it because that’s what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that it beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is. That is raw and that is unguarded, and that is all that’s worth anything, really.

  

  It was easy to idealize someone you barely knew.

  

  Some things are true no matter how hard you might try to block them out. A lie is always a lie, no matter how prettily told. Some doors, once they’re opened, can never be closed again, just as some trust, once it’s been lost, can never be won back.

  

  Everyone wanted to believe that endless love was possible. She believed that once too, back when she was eighteen. But she knew that love was messy, just like life. It took turns that people couldn’t foresee or even understand, leaving a long trail of regret in its wake. And almost always, those regrets led to the kind of “what if” questions that could never be answered.

  

  I never thought it would end like this. I never thought he would leave me without saying goodbye.

  

  What is family? They were the people who claimed you. In good, in bad, in parts or in whole, they were the ones who showed up, who stayed in there, regardless. We had many families over time. Our family of origin, the family we created, as well as the groups you moved through while all of this was happening: friends, lovers, sometimes even strangers. None of them were perfect, and we couldn’t expect them to be. You couldn’t make any one person your world. The trick was to take what each could give you and build a world from it.

  

  Because in a sense, it’s the coming back, the return which gives meaning to the going forth. We really don’t know where we’ve been until we’ve come back to where we were. Only, where we were may not be as it was because of who we’ve become. Which is, after all, why we left.

  

  Some people are just meant to make cameo appearances, some are destined to be a pithy footnote.

  

  I’m so sorry. I know I did something terrible, horrible to you, and if I could take it back, I would. Sometimes I wish you would just do something horrible to me and then we’d be even. But you, you would never do that. It’s just all these things are happening and I need someone. You’re the only one I can talk to. You’ve always been the only one.

  

  Right now, at this very moment, all I want to do is sit across from you and talk about life. And when we run out of topics, we could just hold hands because that would be enough. But you’re not here, and we can’t talk face to face because miles separate us. Well, I can smell these flowers you sent, or look at pictures from before, but I can’t wrap my arms around a moment in time. So,I sit and think of what we will do when I finally see you again. All I really want to do is enjoy each other’s company and maybe watch a movie or two about falling in love and growing old together. And maybe you and I could fall in love and grow old together, too.

  

  I just wish the memories would fade. I wish the songs wouldn’t bring tears. And, I wish that his name would stop making my heart tremble. I want to forget. I need to forget. I deserve to forget. I have to forget.

  

  I think when you are young, you are hoping that the person will be the right one, that one you are going to be in love with forever. But sometimes, you want that so much, you create something that isn’t there. It’s easier to walk away than fight for what you really want.

  

  You start out life with a clean slate. Then you begin to make your mark. You face decisions, make choices. You keep moving forward. But sooner or later there comes a time where you look back over where you have been… and wonder who you really are.

  

  No second chances. It’s not so much about mortality, but about my inability to forgive. I’m a champion grudge holder, and I don’t think I could change this about myself even if I wanted to.

  

  It’s been said that seeing is believing. But the fact is, we all have our blind spots. Sometimes we recognize them ourselves. Sometimes others recognize them for us. Distance has a way of distorting the things we see. But what appears as an obstacle may in fact be an opportunity. The trick is having enough faith to carry through.

  

  I never thought it would end like this. I never thought he would leave me without saying goodbye.

  

  You have to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you got, remember what you had, always forgive, but never forget, learn from your mistakes, but never regret, people change, things go wrong, but just remember life goes on.

  

  Dealing with back stabbers, there was one thing I learned. They’re only powerful when you got your back turned.

  

  It’s not what’s happening to you now or what has happened in your past that determines who you become. Rather, it’s your decisions about what to focus on, what things mean to you, and what you’re going to do about them that will determine your ultimate destiny.

  

  The greater the love, the greater the tragedy when it’s over.

  

  People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

  

  Honestly, I’m not going to lie. I want new people and new places. I want to keep the old, but I desperately want the new. I want to go someplace where no one knows me, and then maybe I can reinvent myself, and be who I was meant to be, or a different part of me.

  

  Always take comfort in knowing that you are independent enough, that you don’t need to rely on anyone else for your own happiness.

  

  Strong is fighting. It’s hard and it’s painful, and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do, and we can do it together. But if you’re too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can’t convince you that you belong in this world, then I don’t know what can. But do not expect me to watch and don’t expect me to mourn for you.

  

  Sometimes its only when we lose everything that we can do anything.

  

  I have a feeling I get watching jaws, when the men are in the little boat in the middle of the dark sea, drunk and singing, and it’s cozy and fun, and the fantasist in me hopes that in this version of the film the shark will decide he’s not evolutionarily advanced enough to hold a grudge against a bunch of humans and he’ll swim away and no one will get eaten. I watch, knowing the worst is a certainty, but still faintly believing I might have the one dud tape for those sensitive souls who can’t face reality.

  

  There is always someone judging you, no matter how good a person you are. Hell you could be a saint, and still there would be that one person who’ll despise you.

  

  I guess if you’re really a friend, you overlook certain things. It’s easy to be friends with someone who only says things you want to hear.

  

  You gradually get over the pain. It doesn’t go away, not for a long time, but it becomes easier to live with. One morning you wake up and he’s not the first thing on your mind. And then a few months down the line you realize you’ve made it through half the day without thinking of him. Sometimes it takes months, sometimes, years, but eventually you reach a point when you only think about them occasionally. You manage to do this because you don’t see them, you don’t hear about them, you try not to think about them. And then you bump into them walking down the street, or someone unexpected mentions their name … and the memories come flooding back.

  

  Hope is a driving factor in helping us stay on course in life, it may feel as though it comes and goes, but in reality there is always hope, there is always a chance for something else to happen, and you need to have faith that it will.

  

  I don’t know I just I love you more than anything. When people told me don’t be with him, I was like you obviously don’t know him because he’s the most amazing guy I’ve ever met in my life. I never had a relationship like this; it’s so fun, it’s so everything and you’re always there and I know for my whole life that you’ll always be there. And I know that you’re the most loyal, amazing, loving everything person and I love you more than anything in the whole world.

  

  Fate has a way of stepping in and guiding you in the direction you need to go even when you yourself had no intention of creating that path.

  

  Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your best friend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. And most of all wait for the person who will put you at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong.

  

  Most people think the scariest thing is knowing that you’re going to die. It’s not. It’s knowing you might have to watch every single person you’ve ever loved–or even liked– waste away while you just stand there.

  

  I like to see people reunited, I like to see people run to each other, I like the kissing and the crying, I like the impatience, the stories that the mouth can’t tell fast enough, the ears that aren’t big enough, the eyes that can’t take in all of the change, I like the hugging, the bringing together, the end of missing someone.

  

  One of the most beautiful things in life is to lay in bed, completely naked with the one you love. There is nothing more raw,or loving than sharing not only sheets together, but skin. The warmth and softness of their tummy, the way your bodies mesh and tangle together, as you’re breathing and heartbeats become one, like a beautiful concerto piece. Not only are your bodies together, but your souls and selves do as well. You don’t see where you begin and they end, but that’s the beauty of it.

  

  You matter to me. You matter in this world. I don’t know who is reading this, but I know that you matter. I know that you’re special. And I know that you deserve to be loved. You are loved. I don’t know who you are, but you are loved.

  

  If you’re feeling frightened about what comes next, don’t be. Embrace the uncertainty. Allow it to lead you places. Be brave as it challenges you to exercise both your heart and your mind as you create your own path towards happiness, don’t waste time with regret. Spin wildly into your next action. Enjoy the present, each moment, as it comes; because you’ll never get another one quite like it. And if you should ever look up and find yourself lost, simply take a breath and start over. Retrace your steps and go back to the purest place in your heart… where your hope lives. You’ll find your way again.

  

  Love wasn’t a happening one decided on– to indulge or not, to partake or not. To feel or not. When it came, when it stuck, the only decisions left to make was how to respond– whether you embraced it, took it in, and made it a part of you, or whether you turned your back on it and let it die.

  

  I don’t know how to regret it. Because that would mean to regret that I ever met him and I can’t make myself do that.

  

  At some point you will realize that you have done too much for someone, that the only next possible step to do is to stop. Leave them alone. Walk away. It’s not like you’re giving up, and it’s not like you shouldn’t try. It’s just that you have to draw the line of determination from desperation. What is truly yours will eventually be yours, and what is not, no matter how hard you try, will never be.

  

  When I’m with you, I feel a kind of calm I’ve never felt in my life. I’m tangled up in you and you’re tangled up in me and it feels right. Like it was meant to be.

  

  There’s something about bookshelves that are so beautiful to me. Even if they aren’t organized or alphabetized. They hold so much potential, so many options. There are a million options for a way of escape, a way to forget the world around you. That’s what’s so beautiful about reading, is that those black and white pages absorb you. They bring you in, hook line and sinker, and you come back to your own life feeling rejuvenated, ready for anything because if Scarlett O’Hara can survive the civil war, you can surely survive your family, your friends, and your school. So you may see a bookshelf, disorganized and messy, but I see hope, I see potential, and I see somewhere I want to be. To just run my hands over the binds, flipping through the aged pages, hearing the creaks and flutters. This picture isn’t a picture, it’s a beautiful thing.

  

  There will always be a reason why you meet people. Either you need them to change your life or you’re the one that will change theirs.

  

  Nobody wants to admit this, but bad things will keep on happening. Maybe that’s because it’s all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing, and that led someone else to do another bad thing, and so on. You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someones’ ear, and that person whispers it to someone else, and it all comes out wrong in the end. But then again, maybe bad things happen because it’s the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like.

  

  So this is what it feels like, to love someone that much? So much that you couldn’t even control yourself when they came close, as if you might just break free of whatever was holding you and throw yourself at them with enough force to easily overwhelm you both.

  

  I hate being in this position. I’m forcing myself to let go of the one person I need in my life. You’re the only thing that makes sense, but at the same time, the one thing that complicates me. I know that I’m better off without you, but I feel empty whenever I try to let go.

  

  It’s always been you even when I didn’t want it to be, even when it broke my heart over and over again. It’s just always been you.

  

  Everyone has that person that they go back to. Each time, they swear it’s different, and they’re done for good. But they aren’t. They wish they were, but the thing is, they can’t be. Because that person they keep going back to, they can’t be completely happy without them.

  

  You couldn’t just pick and choose at will when someone depended on you, or loved you. It wasn’t like a light switch, easy to shut on or off. If you were in, you were in. Out, you were out. To me, it didn’t seem complicated at all. In fact, it was the simplest thing in the world.

  

  Serious relationships are not something anyone should really be actively looking for because sometimes, the best relationships happen only by accident. I was beginning to see, though, that the unknown wasn’t always the greatest thing to fear. The people who know you best can be riskier, the words they say and the things they think have the potential to be not only scary but true, as well.

  

  Losers aren’t the people who don’t win, losers are people who are so afraid of not winning, they don’t even try.

  

  You have to get hurt. That’s how you learn. The strongest people out there, the ones who laugh the hardest with a genuine smile, those are the people who have fought the toughest battles. Because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down, they’re showing the world who’s the boss.

  

  Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect, we take what we get and are thankful its no worse then it is.

  

  Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we’re wired that way. Because without it, I don’t know, maybe we just wouldn’t feel real. What’s that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

  

  Well, let’s face it, you’re not stupid. You knew there were a lot of things wrong in the relationship, you just chose to ignore them because there were so many good things you didn’t want to give up. Now, you’re at the point in your life where you’re strong enough to give up the good stuff. You’re strong enough to expect more from your life. I’m proud of you for that. Most women aren’t that strong. They’re so terrified of being alone that they stay with the wrong guy, rather than risk loneliness waiting for the right guy.

  

  In time, the hurt began to fade and it was easier to just let it go. At least I thought it was. But in every boy I met in the next few years, I found myself looking for you, and when the feelings got too strong, I’d write you another letter. But I never sent them for fear of what I might find. By then, you’d gone on with your life and I didn’t want to think about you loving someone else. I wanted to remember us like we were that summer. I didn’t ever want to lose that.

  

  You tell yourself to someone and they steal your soul. That’s why I don’t talk to anybody.

  

  Listen to me. Someday you’re gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You’ll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing.

  

  That’s one of the damnedest things I ever found out about human emotions and how treacherous they can be– the fact that you can hate a place with all your heart and soul and still be homesick for it. Not to speak of the fact that you can hate a person with all your heart and soul and still long for that person. 

  

  I think if past lives are real then we have been lovers in every single one of them. I’ve known you for a short time, but I feel like I’ve known you forever.

  

  There was in the mountains, and perhaps in the world at large, a theory of compensation that held for everything given something else was immediately taken away . Well, you’ve got the smarts, even if your cousin did get the looks. Compliments, seductive as flowers, thorny with their opposites: Yes, you may be smart but you sure are ugly; You may look nice but you didn’t get a brain. Compensation; balance in the universe.

  

  Sacrifice is part of life. it’s supposed to be. it’s not something to regret. It’s something to aspire to. Little sacrifices. Big sacrifices.

  

  As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

  

  Every day is an adventure to discovering the meaning of life. It is each little thing that you do everyday, whether it be spending time with your friends, running a cross-country race, or just simply staring at the crashing ocean waves, that holds the key to discovering the meaning of life. I would rather be out enjoying these simple things than pondering them. We may never really discover the meaning of life, but the knowledge we gain in our quest to discover it is truly more valuable.

  

  It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime.

  

  Isn’t it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle – it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It’s not an act of bitterness. It’s an act of self-preservation.

  

  Irony is when we smile at those we despise, and engage in bitter arguments with those we love dearly.

  

  How do you look at the woman you love, and tell yourself that it’s time to walk away?

  

  People are always shouting they want to create a better future. It’s not true. The future is an apathetic void of no interest to anyone. The past is full of life, eager to irritate us, provoke and insult us, tempt us to destroy or repaint it. The only reason people want to be masters of the future is to change the past.

  

  You will remember every single day for the rest of your life because I was the one and you threw me away.

  

  I don’t give up easily; I fight for what I want. It takes a lot for me to actually give up on something or someone. I can’t just throw away all the hard work and time I put into it. I can’t just give up because times are hard, especially if that person means so much to me. I keep fighting for what I want until I can’t fight anymore, until giving up is the only option I have left.

  

  The way you glance at me when you think I might be looking your way is one of my favorite things in the world.

  

  Just because you accept help from someone, doesn’t mean you have failed. It just means you’re not in it alone.

  

  He did say I fascinated him, but he really should have clarified to me that I was just the fascination for the day.

  

  I’m sick and tired of being on my own. Most of the time I’m fine. Some of the time I even quite enjoy it. But at this precise moment in time I’m fed up with it. I’ve had enough.

  

  Keep this in mind, one day, there’s going to be a guy who’s going to love you, your body, your smile, the way you walk, the way you talk, he’s going to love you. And you’re going to feel confident and on top of the world. One day, you won’t feel insecure because you have someone who loves you for who you are. And I think that’s when you know its love. When instead of feeling like you have to hide your flaws, and feel insecure and embarrassed, you feel unashamed, free, secure, safe, proud, happy, and confident. You feel loved.

  

  When things break, it’s not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again. It’s because a little piece gets lost–the two remaining ends couldn’t fit together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed. I am never going to friends with her again. And the sooner she realized it, the less annoying it’s going to be.

  

  Nothing in this world happens without a reason. That we are all exactly where we are supposed to be, and that the pieces of the puzzle have a tendency to come together when you least expect it.

  

  The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don’t. But, in the end, they’re the people you always come home to. Sometimes it’s the family you’re born into and sometimes it’s the one you make for yourself.

  

  I find that memories are the deadliest thing; for brains have a tell-tale way of lying to us. The good we remember become lovely, so lovely we cannot stand to think anymore. And the bad becomes a painful throb that no amount of self-medicating will begin to dull. When the nostalgia kicks in, it is a battle that we decide not to overcome, between what has once happened and the beauty of what has not.

  

  To be honest, I’m not sure about this whole scared of commitment business. I think it’s become too handy, a useful phrase that men can bandy about whenever they feel like being assholes. And sure, I do believe there are some men who are genuinely terrified of commitment, but there aren’t that many, and for the most part I think it’s that they haven’t met the right woman yet. Because if a man, no matter how scared he professed to be, met the woman of his dreams, he wouldn’t want to let her go, would he? And sure, he might not want to actually get married, but if he were madly in love and risked losing her, he’d do it, wouldn’t he? That’s the way I think, anyway.

  

  Even when love is right in front of you, you choose to turn away from it. You’re alone because you want to be.

  

  Know that some people come into your life as blessings, and others come into your life as lessons.

  

  Just because I don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean I forgot.

  

  • 12:32 am
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