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Sometimes, people drift apart and you go days without thinking about the person who you talked to everyday for upwards of six months. Sometimes, you don't see or talk to the person who knew you best, the person who made your heart skip a beat, the person who gave you butterflies, for weeks. Sometimes you completely forget about them and give up trying to rekindle any sort of friendship or relationship and regret ever letting them get away. And then sometimes, if you're lucky, you drift back.
I have proof that bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. You happened to me, and I happened to you.
You're beautiful & you don't know it. You're smart & you don't believe it. You're the kind of girl guys never get over. You're the girl that other girls get compared to.
Lollipops turn into cigarettes. The innocent ones turn into sluts. Homework goes in the trash. Mobile phones are being used in class. Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka. Bikes become cars. Kisses turn into sex. Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground? When protection meant wearing a helmet? When the worst things you could get from boys were cooties? Dad’s shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero? Your worst enemies were your siblings. Race issues were about who ran the fastest. War was only a card game. And the only drug you knew was cough medicine. When wearing a skirt didn’t make you a slut. The most pain you felt was when you skinned your knees, and goodbyes only meant until tomorrow? And we couldn’t wait to grow up.
Sometimes you have to watch the broken pieces fall, no matter how much you want to fix them. Sometimes you have to let someone walk away, even though you want them to stay.
If you ever decide to go, I want a warning. You know, big flashing red lights and one of those clocks that counts down like a bomb in a movie? And there's a whole bunch of colored wires and I'm not sure which is the right one to cut but I guess the green one and then at the last second, no, the red one, then click, it stops with three-tenths of a second left but then you don't leave. Like that, okay?
I hate how dispensable I am to people. I hate how people feel they can just forget aboutme, replace me, erase me without even a second thought. It's like I don't matter toanyone and hey, I don't blame you. I'm no one special. I just thought you were different.I had more faith in you and you took that, ripped it up, shoved it in my face and walkedaway without ever looking back.
I hate the fact that I stayed with you even when I shouldn't have. I hate that I stood up for staying with you even when I looked like an idiot. I hate that you don't even care. I hate that you said forever. I hate that you lied. I hate that you built me up and tore me down. I hate how when I said forever I meant it. I hate how you controlled the relationship. I hate that I care so much. I hate that I still love you. I hate that I shouldn't. I hate the fact that you don't want to be with me. I hate the fact that I'm here without you. I hate the fact that you're there and you couldn't care less. I hate that I don't hate you. And it sucks.
Go back to him. Do it. You're right. This is your life. If there's going to be a moment in your future where you say, "Damn, I really fucked up", I want it to be your decision. And you know what? When he ends up breaking your heart again, which he will, I'll still be there for you. Yeah, I'll be disappointed with you and I can promise you that. And I'm going to say "I told you so" because I want you to know that I'm disappointed. It's not because I'm trying to be a bad friend, it's just that I want you to know that you should have considered what I said instead of following your head. Sometimes your heart needs a rest. You don't always need a boy. But if you feel like you do, okay then. Good luck with that.
Some people are just bad news. Even if you love them, they aren't good for your life. Give them time to grow up.
I probably shouldn't forgive you, but I do. For some reason you're the only exception tomy rule. It's like, my walls come crumbing down every time you're around. For somereason, I can't turn you away.
I may have walked away, but the whole time I was praying you'd hold me back. You'd grab my wrist and yell in my face why I need you and how you love me. I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to make me stay.
You over-think things. You say, "What if we're not meant to be?" Well, you know what?So what. Make a mistake with me. Nobody goes through this life and does everythingperfectly. We're all going to fail, so you might as well make a mistake with me. Sometimes when we take a chance that has this much at stake, we look back and in hindsight what seemed wrong looks more like right. So I say worse case, we'll be left with a lot of good memories. This chance we have, well it's worth that, so come on. I'm telling you, the right thing to do is make a mistake with me.
It’s alright to take a break from everything. It's alright letting yourself go and giving yourself some breathing room. Just remember how to get yourself back.
This is my goodbye. Regardless of the fact that I don't want it to be said, it has to bedone. I'll miss you. Surprised? You were never any good for me.
I think one of the worst feelings on the world, right behind heartbreak, is that disgustingly empty feeling you get right after you spill your heart out and lay all your cards on the table. Right after you get the courage to say everything you have been feeling and be completely and recklessly honest. It's that feeling you get right after you risk everything, and he just walks away. Because then you realize that you just lost. You just lost everything you didn't even know you had when you said "What do I have to lose?"
Don't give up, okay? I know you've been hurt. I know how it feels. Believe me, I do. But the feeling will pass. The tears will stop falling. Your heart will heal itself.
Just because you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to, you can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them and not love them. And you can love somebody and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone to want them. Now that's frustrating, when what your brain tells you you want and what you actually want don't match up. Its exhausting. And, well, its complicated. But that's life. And life... sucks.
So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on. You find yourself removing him from your heart.
Don't ever hold my hand if you are going to let it go. Don't ever say "I love you", if you are going to leave me alone.
It had never occurred to me that our lives, which had been so closely interwoven, could unravel with such speed. If I'd known, maybe I'd have kept tighter hold of them and not let unseen tides pull us apart.
There’s always going to be this one thing you wish for but never get. That one mistake you wish you can erase but can never take back. And most of all, that one memory you would do anything for, just to have it again.
This is life. People will screw you over. You’ll fight with your family. You’ll witness things that will change you forever. You’ll blame new lovers for things old lovers did. You’ll lose best friends you thought would always be there. You’ll come to realize that everyone has a past. You’ll cry, you’ll laugh, and you’ll embarrass yourself. But then, you’ll find your very own moment where none of that matters; where you can sit back and realize that shit happens to the people who can handle it and that this is who you are, and that no one should want to change you, including yourself.
Truth is, I get jealous easily because what's mine is mine. I'm stubborn as hell, I say sorry too much. I act like I don't give a fuck because I care too much. I over analyze the smallest of things & probably come off as a bitch to simply guard myself.
This is not going to make me happy. I can see where this is headed. I am going to be broken and left alone, like last time. Like every time. I need to get over me. I need to get over you. I need to get out to get back in. I can’t. I can’t give up. I need to, though. Save myself. But maybe, for now we can pretend. And I can try.
If you asked me last year where I saw myself in a year, I could quickly tell you that this wasn’t it. Everything I am right now is nothing like I thought I would have been. The way things are in general are nothing like I thought they would be. To see people I couldn’t live without last year walk away from my life & become strangers; to see people that were once strangers, mean more than the world to me. Seeing time fly by in the blink of an eye & feeling like nothing ever changes. Feeling like everything has stayed the same through out these days, yet looking back at where I was around this exact time last year & everything, different.