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Original: 8/1/2012 12:53 PM
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Wednesday, August 01, 2012

I don't care what people say, the rush is worth the price I pay

 

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You know it all, you know me inside and out. You know my feelings and what I would do if I was yours. You know my secrets, you know my flaws. You said you trusted me, said you wanted me. I can't say anything more to make you understand that I will always be here, waiting for you.

She smokes like there's no tomorrow. She says it makes her feel alive. She drinks vodka like water because she's dry inside. She drives her car like a bullet, she says that time is slipping away. She never thinks about the future, it's a million miles away.

No one deserves to be treated that way. So even if you love him with your entire heart, with every fiber of your being, with so much passion that it hurts to think about it, you need to forget what you want and remember what you deserve.

I wanted to tell you all my secrets, but you became one of them instead.

So many times I've loved you, more than myself. It's time to take that love & put it on the shelf.

We are who we are because we made ourselves that way. No one comes into your body and changes the way you act. Sure they have an influence but in the end, it's all up to you how you want to live your life.

I love that moment. When you're on a long car ride, or listening to music, or reading. And you completely zone out. You forget your troubles, and everyone around you. You're focused on that one thing, and that one thing only. You're content, and everything seems peaceful.

Sweetheart, you can't bullshit me. See I've lied to myself enough to know when someone else is doing it. So let's try this again, and how about the truth this time?

I think the hardest part of this whole situation is that neither of us knows what’s going on. Neither of us knows what the other is thinking. And we are both trying to make decisions on something we don’t really know.

All my life, I've painted with anger's brush.

Front of the line. Back of the club. Center of attention.

At least I expected the disappointment, right? I mean, I can't say I was surprised you hurt me once again. But I can't say it hurt any less, either.

Here comes the big punch line I've been dying to give. I don't really need you like I used to, and you can walk out that door. Through the back woods and pretend we never happened. It'll all be the same, but you'll be the coward. You were the one always looking for a way out.

You don't care, and I finally understand that. But I'm never going to understand how you could drop me so fast, and I guess I'll never know. You owe me a thousand explanations but you'll never take the time to explain a thing to me.

I'm too stubborn to forget, you're too proud to apologize.

It’s hard to sleep when deep down you’re hurting and nobody has a clue. You know it’s hard to sleep because you’re up thinking about what could’ve happened, what would’ve happened, and why things didn’t happen. You know it’s hard to sleep when your heart aches so bad that you’re willing to love that person through all the trouble and pain whether they’re aware of what you’re going through or not. And most of all, you know it’s hard to sleep because you’re wondering just when you’ll be okay again.

Believe me when I say you changed me for the better. From now on I look at love differently. I will no longer throw the word around and I will no longer fall for it so easily. I will be careful with my heart so it doesn't break again, for if it does it may never come back. I thank you for making me realize I have my own two feet I can stand on, and I don't need a man to make me proud of myself. I know you thought I would not take this well and crawl back to you the second I got a chance, but I'm stronger. And this is my new challenge and I will defeat it. Thanks for helping me realize I'm strong on my own.

 

 Posted 8/1/2012 12:53 PM - 14690 Views - 14 eProps - 6 comments

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6 Comments

Visit thebetterway631's Xanga Site!
What a beautiful post. Thank you xoxo
Posted 8/1/2012 1:01 PM by thebetterway631 - recommend - reply

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Posted 8/1/2012 1:14 PM by Quotes_Photos_Love - recommend - reply

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Sara Jessica

Posted 8/1/2012 1:41 PM by sarabaraxoxo - recommend - reply

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fabulous. i really liked this. rec'd :)
Posted 8/1/2012 1:57 PM by blondexsunshine - recommend - reply

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Posted 8/1/2012 2:30 PM by Justin_DeBin - recommend - reply

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Awesome post <3
Posted 8/2/2012 11:52 AM by hopeless_romantic95 - recommend - reply


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