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I know what you are learning to endure. There is nothing to be done. Just make sure nothing is wasted. Take notes. Remember it all, every insult, every tear. Tattoo it on the inside of your mind. In life, knowledge of poisons is essential. I've told you, nobody becomes an artist unless they have to.
Sometimes you've got to change what's happening. You can't wait for people to do it for you, because they won't. People are too preoccupied with what's going on with them to notice what's been happening to you. You can't sit there and expect things to change if you're not willing to get up and change them.
You want to know what happiness is? It's waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone's shoulder but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner so as not to wake them. You turn back around and an involuntary grin forms on your own face. You feel an arm wrap around your waist, and you know it doesn't get any better than this.
Maybe people don't know that the human eye has a blind spot in it's field of vision. There is a part of the world that we are literally blind to. The problem is, sometimes our blind spots shield us from things that really shouldn't be ignored.
I will not wait for what the world may not create. I'll take fate day by day. I focused on the embers that just fade with time, hoping for a spark from a fire that won't revive, believing in fate that left me only one. In lamenting loss of fire, I overlooked the sun.
You're bored of cheering me up. Bored of calming me down. Bored of drying my eyes. But there once was a time when you were the one. You were the blue of the sky, you came after the storm. You were the switch on the wall, in the dark of the hall, I'm still fumbling for.
That great everyday magic is discovering those who are strong enough to catch you. Those who care enough to reach out their arms and cushion your fall. And I think that's what’s so wonderful about life - you never know when you'll stumble upon these kinds of marvelous people, or when they'll stumble onto you. And as terrifying as it sounds, the greatest thing that could ever happen to us is to slip up in the wind and float down into that fall. Because you never know who will be waiting for you at the bottom.
What's worse, new wounds which are so horribly painful or old wounds that should've healed years ago, but never did? Maybe our old wounds teach us something; they remind us where we've been and what we've overcome. They teach us lessons about what to avoid in the future. That's what we like to think but that's not the way it is, is it? Some things we just have to learn over and over and over again.
Everyone is so caught up in their own heartache, they never stop to realize that other people feel things, too. We're all so convinced that 'nobody knows how I feel', we don't open our eyes wide enough. Overlooking the people that could help us, we go on with our lives, living in self-created prisons - prisons within our own minds.
When you lose somebody, you think you've lost the whole world as well. But that's not the way things turn out in the end. Eventually, you pick yourself up and look out the window and once you do, you see everything that was there before the world ended is out there, still. There are the same apple trees, and the same song birds. And over our heads, the same very sky that shines like heaven. So far above us, that we can never hope to reach such heights.
Ever have that one person in your life that you just can't give up on, the one person that can screw you over time after time, yet you always seem to give them another chance, and no matter how many times you say this is their last one, you know it's a lie because there's always just one more waiting for them. The one person you know you're better off without but yet you can't find a way to let them go because deep down inside, you wouldn't know what to do without them. The one person you know doesn't deserve you, but yet you choose to over look it because you love him.
I wondered for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What's so horrible about being dead forever and not feeling anything and not dreaming? What's so great about feelings and dreaming?
The damage was permanent; there would always be scars. But even the angriest scars faded over time until it was difficult to see the written on the skin at all and the only thing that remained was the memory of how painful it had been.
Breaking out, say hello to all the friends that you forgot about. Same old routine, if you don't wanna break it, I'm not gonna make you change, yeah it's easier just to stay the same. If they don't wanna let you, I'm not gonna make you.
Bottom line is, even if you see them coming, you're not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts, that's when you find out who you really are.
Get ready, if you think it can't get worse, it can. My reason why I was unfaithful is preposterous. I have no reason. I woke up one day a few months ago and I realized that my life was perfect. Everything I've ever wanted from the time I was six, has been realized. I've discovered that perfection obtained is a discomforting state. And I got restless. What do you do when everything in your life is right? When everything is just what you wanted it to be? I have the perfect home, career, the most gifted child, a husband who stimulates my mind, body, and soul every day of my life. I wanted more for nothing. And I guess that made me feel empty, not wanting. I just wanted to "want" again. So, I set out to achieve it. And, boy oh boy, did I succeed. Because what I want now, I want back everything I've lost.
I will be who I want to be, not who you think I should. I am going to dress my own way, not the way you want me to. I am going to listen to the music that I want to listen to, watch what I want to watch, read what I want to read. I will not let you break me down, because if I'm not good enough for you, then you mean nothing to me.
I am the kind of girl who lives on pinky promises, that wishes on every 11:11, who smiles to people she doesnt know just hoping to brighten someones day, who loves to laugh and doesn't mind being laughed at. I am the kind of girl who stays by your side through thick and thin, that lives off of beach days whether summer or winter. who loves to skip at random moments, who listens to her music way too loud. I am the kind of girl who never gives up on something she starts, that hates fighting and does anything she can to avoid it. that's way tougher than she seems. who thinks candid photography is the most beautiful art. I am the kind of girl, who loves without the intention of having it returned. The girl there needs to be more of in this world.
Whether it was three years ago, today, or still to come. Whether it was just a moment, a whole day, or a whole summer, everyone has a time in their life when they wish everything would just stop. The world would stop turning and people would just stop changing, because to them at that time, everything was perfect.
I've learned this past year. I've changed, I've grown. Maybe things do happen for a reason, maybe they don't. But no matter what, they still happen. That's what we need to remember. I learned to stop analyzing things, to just let them happen. And if I get hurt, or if something bad happens, then it happens. There's nothing I can do to change that. I've learned to go with my gut, and that it's okay to make mistakes because the ones that matter won't care. I've learned that love really is as great as they say it is. I've learned that your friends can save you from your worst enemy: yourself. And most importantly, I've learned that today is all we have.