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The truth was that I knew, after all those flat january days, that I deserved better. I deserved I love you's and kiwi fruits and flowers and warriors coming to my door, besotted with love. I deserved pictures of my face in a million expressions, and the warmth of a baby's kick under my hand. I deserved to grow, and to change, to become all the girls that I could be over the course of my life, each one better than the last.
No matter where you choose to be, in my heart I'll always see you everywhere.
Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you'll find it in a spouse and celebrate it with your dream wedding. But theres also the chance that the person you can count on for a lifetime, the person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself, is the same person who's been standing beside you all along.
Remember that at any given moment, there are a thousand things you can love.
When I woke up this morning, I couldn't get out of bed. I was laying there, and I thought to myself how comfortable it was. It was silent, no one was around, and I felt so good laying under the blankets that were wrapped around me. At that moment, I realized I could lay in bed for all hours of the day, not talking to one person, living in my thoughts, and not doing anything with myself, and it wouldn’t bother me. All I would need is a paper and a pen. I wouldn’t go insane like most people would. I wouldn’t feel content, but I wouldn’t feel sad either, I would feel comfort and calm. I find that to be absolutely saddening.
I’m thinking that sometimes you just have to make the decision to be happy. Just realize that things aren’t ever what you hoped they’d be. Not ever. For anybody. The only thing that separates one kind of person from another is that there are some who stay angry about it and there are some who accept what comes their way.
Sometimes there doesn't even have to be a reason. I knew from experience that no matter how much you turn things in your head, trying to make sense of them. Some people just defy all logic.
Have you ever been struck by the feeling that something is wrong? Nothing in particular, mind you. Nothing that you can quite put your finger on. Just an overwhelming sense that things in your universe have, well, shifted. And even if the answer is right there, staring you straight in the eye, somehow, you still don’t see it.
It started kind, with good intention. It turned into harsh words without any meaning. Now, I'm laying in my bed face down in a pillow just trying to breathe. It didn't have to end this way.
When you break a girl's heart, it's like drowning a kitten. It really is; because we love you so much and we snuggle and we will nuzzle your neck and we'll paw your fat belly. But the moment you break our little hearts, we'll kill you, man.
Hey you. Yes you. The one reading this. Think you're too fat? Too skinny? What about too tall, short, ugly, worthless, or anything else along those lines? Well guess what. I think you all are beautiful. I think you all deserve to wake up with a smile on your face, and go to bed with a smile on your face. You all deserve happiness. Screw the boy that broke your heart, and fuck the girl that messed with your feelings. Forget about your parents, and what they say to you. Don't worry about them. Think about your future. How nice it's going to be in 20 years from now, to be laying in a bed with the one you love, and just knowing that you're the one that the other one wants to be with forever. Think about all the success you're going to do, and how many smiles you're going to put on someones face. Think about your future kids, and grand-children. Think about what you are going to do with your life. In 20 years from now, everything that is happening now, won't matter ! at all. You might not remember anything that is happening right now. If you think you have it bad, think about all the things you have in life. Have a roof over your head? Yes, well someone else in this world doesn't. Have clothes on your back? Yeah, well someone else in this world doesn't. You have your friends? There's someone else in the world that doesn't. You still have your life, you have your heart, your eyes, your ears, your legs, your feet, your arms, your hands, and most importantly, you have someone that is going to love you for who you are. You may not know them now, and you may not think that they do, but they do. And they will give up anything, just to be with you. Now, smile because you're always going to have it better than someone else out there. Don't frown because something happened, that isn't going to matter later in life.
I wonder what you're doing right now and if you're okay. I hope you are. I wonder if you have trouble sleeping 'cause you're thinking too much and if you're sad. I hope you're not. I wonder if you think of me, miss me, and also wonder. I hope you do.