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Original: 10/22/2012 1:41 AM
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Monday, October 22, 2012

Wish I knew then what I know now

 

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I'm so sorry for everything that's happened. I don't know how to fix it.

I used to be afraid of heights. But now, whether I'm climbing two inches or two thousand feet, my direction is always up. My dream is to fly and I'm not coming down anytime soon.

No matter what circumstances life throws in your direction, you have to believe that you can handle it. It’s really about our perception. There’s no such thing as a bad circumstance. All those things we perceive as bad are actually real growing experience in life. You have to see that everything that happens to you has come into your life for a reason, an we are challenged in life because that’s what life is all about. Life’s about how we deal with those challenges.

Fuck it. You throw a dart at a map, we’ll go there and start new. Somewhere else in the world that’s not here. Somewhere where we haven’t said things to each other that we can’t unsay and done things which we can’t undo. There we can say new things. We can do new things. And those new things we say and do will be more important than the old things. Let’s leave. Please. Leave with me.

And I thought about how many people have loved those songs. And how many people got through a lot of bad times because of those songs. And how many people enjoyed good times with those songs. And how much those songs really mean. I think it would be great to have written one of those songs. I bet if I wrote one of them, I would be very proud. I hope the people who wrote those songs are happy. I hope they feel it's enough. I really do because they've made me happy. And I'm only one person.

That was the thing. You just never knew. Forever was so many different things. It was always changing, it was what everything was really all about. It was twenty minutes, or a hundred years, or just this instant, or any instant I wished would last and last. But there was one truth about forever that really mattered, and that was this: it was happening. Right then... and every moment afterwards.

Keep your dreams alive. Understand to achieve anything requires faith and belief in yourself, vision, hard work, determination, and dedication. Remember all things are possible for those who believe.

Our days would be happier if we gave people a little bit our hearts rather than a piece of our minds.

So in spite of the people who will fight around you, the family members who’ll argue, the one’s who’ll tell you it’s all a waste of time and money, on your own or with someone else, you go out there and you find a moment. One serene, beautiful moment when the world and everything in it makes sense. It’s rare. And it doesn’t get handed to you on a platter. Which is why you’ve got an entire day to look for it.

That's what I don't get. All these other girls, they're prettier than me, they're funnier than me, they're kinnier, they're less awkward. But I'm still the one you're lusting after. Am I the one you don't think you can have? But baby, I'm already yours. Are you inexplicably connected to me, too?

I think it’s more interesting to see people who don’t feel appropriately. I relate to that, because sometimes I don’t feel anything at all for things I’m supposed to, and other times I feel too much. It’s not always like it is in the movies.

Don't depend on people that bring you down. Instead, find something inside yourself that lifts you up at your weakest hour. Find that and use it to pull everyone else up too. 

I don't do crowds, I'd like to have company during thunderstorms. I'd like you to fall for me but it would soon turn lousy and wrong. I meant what I said, I don't want money, I just want to be wonderful.

Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love, but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear - fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection, even if it kills them slowly within.

I may still not know what I want to be when I grow up, but I do know that someday I want to live in a house filled with my books and travel souvenirs. And the walls that aren’t covered in bookshelves will be covered with photos of my family and friends. When I leave the house I will be going to a job I love, and I’ll return to a person I love. So that’s the dream I’m working on.

My point is, there are a lot of people in the world. No one ever sees everything the same way you do; it just doesn't happen. So when you find one person who gets a couple of things, especially if they're important ones, you might as well hold on to them. You know?

I'm scared because I don't want anyone else to steal your heart; That's what I want to do.

Maybe that’s just growing up. When you’re young, you tell yourself things like "Well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be" as if that actually meant something, just because it sounds like it does. I think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. But people are rare perfect unique things, and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. Just because you will survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.

 Posted 10/22/2012 1:41 AM - 12490 Views - 12 eProps - 6 comments

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6 Comments

Visit Camouflaged_love's Xanga Site!
Loved this post darling! And I was listening to Wide Awake when I saw your post! Weird! Anyways, wonderful job <3
Posted 10/22/2012 9:13 AM by Camouflaged_love - recommend - reply

Visit TurnWoundsInWisdom's Xanga Site!
this is beautiful<3
Posted 10/22/2012 11:49 AM by TurnWoundsInWisdom - recommend - reply

Visit britney1anbe's Xanga Site!
great post xx
Posted 10/22/2012 12:10 PM by britney1anbe - recommend - reply

Visit Tracy_tragedy's Xanga Site!
<3 LOVED the last photo <3
Posted 10/22/2012 1:49 PM by Tracy_tragedy - recommend - reply

Visit LaBellaVita_25's Xanga Site!
cute post hun! rec'd, take care...L
Posted 10/22/2012 8:37 PM by LaBellaVita_25 - recommend - reply

Visit ItaliaLove2009's Xanga Site!
absolutely AMAZING update girly <3
Posted 10/22/2012 10:21 PM by ItaliaLove2009 - recommend - reply


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