July 24, 2013

• Best I ever had

  

  Click here to follow me on Twitter for more quotes

  It’s amazing the things you realize when you lose someone. You get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could have said a million times. You take for granted the days you spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken, at any point in our lives, but we always wait until they’re gone to say the things we never had the courage to say.

  

  Here’s for the ones who did their make-up and put on their prettiest earrings, only to hear him say he couldn’t see us that day or night. The ones that never believed it when people told us that there could be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again. This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter.

  

  I realized that I was holding on to something that didn’t exist anymore. The things we like and dislike change. And we can wish they wouldn’t all day long, but that never works.

  

  You don’t get to be mad at me. You did this. You get that right? I have always been there for you. I have gone out of my way for you over and over again. Do you do the same for me? No. Never. And yet I keep my mouth shut and say nothing about it. I am not in any way trying to say I’m a perfect friend. but I honestly believe I have done everything I am capable of doing, to keep you in my life. The more I tried to keep you, the more you pushed me away. I have been more understanding and forgiving with you, than I was ever capable of being with anyone else. I have literally put myself through emotional hell for you. I’m not blaming you for this, because I chose that. I chose to allow you to walk all over me without ever saying a word. I did that because I wanted you in my life so badly. But you don’t get to be angry with me because I’ve finally decided that I can’t take it anymore. I can’t be the only one trying. It hurts too much. But apparently you don’t understand that. I love you. You will always be my best friend. But I don’t know if i’ve ever actually been yours, and I can’t be second best anymore. I’m fucking tired of being second best to everyone. Especially you. So I’m letting this go. Never thought I’d say that, did you? I have to. I have to let this go because I’m not strong enough to handle it anymore. If you want me in my life, you need to fucking prove it to me.

  

  If you are going to love me, love me deeply. If you break my heart, then break it all. If you are going to care, care for me completely. If you decide not to hold me, then just let me fall. If you are going to stay, then stay forever. And if you want to leave, then do it today. If you are going to change, change for the better. And if you are going to talk, then please mean what you say.

  

  I used to care a lot what people thought about me, then I learned I definitely can’t please everyone, some people will like you, and some people will hate you, but I really don’t care either way. I’m not losing sleep over it.

  

  God, I wish my life was a movie sometimes. You know, I’d never have to worry about my hair, or having to go to the bathroom. And then when I’m at my lowest point, some guy would chase me down the street, pour his heart out and we’d kiss. Happily ever after.

  

  You don’t have to wait for someone to treat you badly repeatedly. All it takes is once, and if they get away with it that once, if they know they can treat you like that, then it sets the pattern for the future.

  

  But, you say, ‘I have no time!’ Nonsense, there is always time. To be precise, there are 86,400 seconds in every day, each second waiting to be used, wanting to be lived. Perhaps because we can’t see or touch time, we don’t understand the gift that is ours – that if we don’t use our daily allotment as best we can we end up, once again, with the ache. we all have enough time; we simply misuse it.

  

  I don’t know I just I love you more than anything. When people told me don’t be with him, I was like you obviously don’t know him because he’s the most amazing guy I’ve ever met in my life. I never had a relationship like this; it’s so fun, it’s so everything and you’re always there and I know for my whole life that you’ll always be there. And I know that you’re the most loyal, amazing, loving everything person and I love you more than anything in the whole world.

  

  We’re not in love, but we love each other. It’s always you and me against the world, we care about eachother so much and youre always looking out for me. You’re the only boy i can be myself around. You know my biggest secrets, my dreams and my fears. Everytime you leave my house my mom always says “you two are going to get married, just watch.” Truth is, im starting to believe it, i want to fall in love with you.

  

  We are who we are because we made ourselves that way. No one comes into your body and changes the way you act. Sure they have an influence but in the end, it’s all up to you how you want to live your life.

  

  Those minutes where I am alone, just me and my pillow. I think, a lot. I think about everything, anything. It varies from “what am I doing with my life?” to “did I have homework?” The room is so silent, but my mind is so loud. It drives me crazy because the things I would never think about, I think about. Sometimes, I hate it because it brings up thing I would rather never think about again. The split second before sleep is the most active second of my life.

  

  She made you decent, and in return you made her so happy, so happy, and I will always be grateful to you for that.

  

  When it comes to family we’re all still children at heart. No matter how old we get, we always need a place to call home. Because without the people you love most, you can’t help but feel all alone in the world.

  

  The thing is there is never a time when you will be more honest, and your convictions will be stronger, and your motives will be more pure than they are right now. Which means you should chase whatever excites you. Be confident, and take risks, and paint over my words so you can start writing your own. My story may have inspired you, but I’m certain your story will inspire the next girl to live in our room. I want you to know you don’t need somebody to write about you in order for your life to mean something. You can write about yourself… make your own destiny. Then years from now the next girl will keep what you write on that door long enough to remind you how inspired your life is. And you can tell that girl to paint over the door because you realize the words you wrote, the friends you had, the urgency you felt will always be there under the paint. The love you professed will always be there, the spark of something undeniable, a seed of hope, the truth for better or for worse burning fiercely just below the surface.

  

  I used to be such a burning example. I used to be so original. I used to care I was being cared for. Made sure I showed it to those that I love. I used to pray like God was listening. I used to make my parents proud. I was the glue that kept my friends together. Now they don’t talk and we don’t go out. I used to know the name of every person I’d kissed. Now I made this bed and I can’t fall asleep in it.

  

  It’s amazing how much damage can be done when you’ve got nothing but good intentions.

  

  I think when you are young, you are hoping that the person will be the right one, that one you are going to be in love with forever. But sometimes, you want that so much, you create something that isn’t there. It’s easier to walk away than fight for what you really want.

  

  I think that’s what I find most strange about this world, nobody ever says how they feel. They hurt, but they don’t cry out. They’re happy, but they don’t dance or jump around. And they’re angry but they hardly ever scream. because they feel ashamed . nothing’s worse than that. So we all walk around with our heads looking down and never look up and see how beautiful the sky is.

  

  Everyone comes with baggage from old relationships. If you’re lucky though, you’ll find someone willing to love you enough to stand there and help you unpack.

  

  I don’t know if it’s going to work out, but I can promise you this: I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one, you never give up.

  

  I want to say I’m sorry, I want you to know I care. I want to say I’m blind for seeing something that wasn’t there. I should have been more trusting, and listened to my heart, cause you’re the only thing I need and it’s tearing me apart.

  

  • 11:09 pm
  • 2 Comments