July 28, 2013

• Swim in a deep sea of blankets

  

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  Some things never are. And we were. I won’t forget you. I won’t forget the summer. I’ll remember who I was when I met you.

  

  You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all. But you taught me to trust myself, and so I say to you: this is what I have to do. Cause I don’t know who I am, who I am without you. All I know is that I should.

  

  When we were little, life worked perfectly. No matter what happened, everything turned out alright in the end. Scraped knees, canceled play dates, dropped ice cream cones– we would cry for a short time, but by the end of the day, everything would be perfect. And now as we’ve grown older, we’ve lost the faith as we stumble through each day, crying over broken hearts, lost friendships, and lost dreams. It seems like life and perfection have turned their backs on us, but really its just that we’ve grown up. As children we didn’t pay attention to such details about our daily lives, but now we are more aware, and little details seem to be amplifying our pain. But just remember that when we were younger, life was hard too, but we had faith in perfection because we could look past faults. So don’t lose your faith. Learn to know that each day will pass, each heartache will be mended, and everything will be perfect in the end. Just keep your faith.

  

  Full of promises and smiles, we are happily quite ignorant of the pain. And oh, how life can quickly change. You can’t predict the rain, or second guess the stars. To find some method in the mad, or some goodness in the bad men that now and then come our way.

  

  Don’t ask yourself what you did wrong or how you could have done it differently. Don’t waste your valuable heart and mind trying to figure out why did he what he did, or thinking back on all the things he said, and wondering what was the truth and what was the lie.

  

  The best feeling in the world is to be millions of miles away and still be able to picture his eyes.

  

  There are places I’ll remember all my life even though some have changed. Some forever not for better, some have gone, and some remain. All these places have their moments with lovers and friends I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living, but in my life I’ve loved them all.

  

  There will come a time in your life when you become absolutely infatuated with a single soul. For this person, you’d do anything for and not think twice about it, but when asked why, you have no answer. You’ll try your whole life to understand how a single person can affect you as much as they do, but you’ll never find out. And no matter how badly it hurts or how badly you hate it, you’ll love this person for the rest of your life without regret.

  

  When people hurt you over and over again, think of them like sandpaper. You may be scratched, but you end up polished and they end up useless.

  

  I’m never shocked when people let me down nowadays. I just hate the fact I put myself in a position to be let down in the first place.

  

  I want to be the girl who makes your bad days better and who makes you say my life has changed since I’ve been with her. Thinking of you always keeps me awake; dreaming of you keeps me asleep and being with you, keeps me alive.

  
  

  Being beautiful is more than how many boys you can get to look at you or how much makeup you can wear. It’s about what you live for. It’s about what defines you. It’s about the heart that you have and what makes you special. It’s about those little quirks that make you, you. It’s about going against the flow and living out what you honestly think, and that is a beautiful thing.

  

  You’re cold, but you’re beautiful. You’re a mess, but I like it that way. If you’re always looking for reasons not to be with someone, then you find them. But at some point you just have to let go, and give your heart what it deserves.

  

  Nothing is forever, and the time comes when we must say goodbye to the world we know. Goodbye to everything we had taken for granted. Goodbye to those we thought would never abandon us. And when these changes finally do occur, when the familiar has departed and the unfamiliar has taken its place, all any of us can really do is to say hello and welcome.

  

  You can feel things or you can find a way to shut down. But once you are feeling things, you can’t decide exactly what to feel. That is the trouble with letting them all in. They make such a mess of the place.

  

  I find it really hard to accept that some things in life will never go back to the way it used to be, and all I can do is think about it all the time, wishing I could re-live it. When I close my eyes, I think about all the good times we had.. but it’s all in the past, and I can never get it back. I loved those days, and I miss them so much. It hurts to know that those memories will always stay in my mind no matter what I do.. but I know it’s impossible to go back.

  

  Just before we never speak again, remember when you used to be my friend. You treated me like shit. I’m never going to deny it even though I play your little game. I was there everytime you called my name. I still thought our friendship would last, but now it’s all in the past. All the secrets I shared and you never cared so let me tell you: I hate you, and yes I mean it.

  

  I wanted people to trust me, despite anything they’d heard. And more than that, I wanted them to know me. Not the stuff they thought about me. No, the real me. I wanted them to get past the rumors. To see beyond the relationships I once had.

  

  This year, do what makes you happy and forget about the things that may stand in the way of that feeling. Let go of the pain that was caused by trying to find love and this year, let love find you. You have 365 days to make it wonderful.

  

  Everyone is in such a hurry. People haven’t found meaning in their lives, so they’re running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running. Once you start running, it’s hard to slow yourself down.

  

  Sometimes when you’re young you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you and you have big plans. Big plans. Find your perfect match, the one that completes you. But as you get older you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize that the plans you made were simply plans. Because at the end when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you are leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.

  

  Never chase anyone. A person who appreciates and respects you will walk with you.

  

  My four walls came down that day. It was a horrible awakening. I learned the meaning of the word hate. I understood what it is like to lose the only thing that ever mattered to me. Simply because I hadn’t mattered much to him at all.

  

  Stories are for joining the past to the future. Stories are for those late hours in the night when you can’t remember how you got from where you were to where you are. Stories are for eternity, when memory is erased, when there is nothing to remember except the story.

  

  If I could get drunk off people’s stupidity and high off the drama in this town, I’d be one twisted motherfucker.

  

  I let you in. You were the first one. Did you know that? I trusted you. They said you might hurt me. Everyone told me not to get my hopes up for you. Bet you didn’t know that. And when everyone doubted, I was there defending you. And then you left it was a horrible feeling, but I put my trust in you. I trusted you wouldn’t hurt me. But you did, baby. Why is that? And now you expect me to just keep going and come back to you like nothing happened, since you left? I can’t do that.

  

  Right now, at this very moment, all I want to do is sit across from you and talk about life. And when we run out of topics, we could just hold hands because that would be enough. But you’re not here and we can’t talk face to face because miles separate us. Well, I can smell these flowers you sent, or look at pictures from before, but I can’t wrap my arms around a moment in time. So, I sit and think of what we will do when I finally see you again. All I really want to do is enjoy each other’s company and maybe watch a movie or two about falling in love and growing old together. And maybe you and I could fall in love and grow old together, too.

  

  Without risk, there’s no reward. It’s important to be fearless. You can’t give up.

  

   

  • 11:43 pm
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