April 22, 2013

  • Be thankful for every day

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    I just want to be the last thing you think about before you fall asleep.

    In that moment, I felt my heart break. And I thought, “I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without you,” and then it slowly crept into my mind that no matter how bad I wanted or needed you, it wouldn’t matter.

    Sometimes, there are things in our life that aren’t meant to stay. Sometimes, change may not be what we want. Sometimes, change is exactly what we need. And sometimes, saying goodbye is the hardest thing you think you’ll never have to do, but sometimes, saying hello again is the thing that breaks you down and makes you more vulnerable than you ever thought possible. Sometimes, change is too much to bear. But most of the time, change is the only thing saving your life.

    I’m done trying. If you want me in your life, let me know.

    I just don’t understand it. I told myself I’d never like you again, but every time I talk to you I see that smile and those gorgeous eyes and I realize I just can’t get over this you matter how hard I try.

    Growing up is never straightforward. There are moments when everything is fine, and other moments, when you’re a teenager and you realize that there are certain memories that you’ll never get back. And certain people that are going to change and the hardest part is realizing that there’s nothing you can do except watch them, and realize that everything is going to change.

    It doesn’t matter where you came from, all that matters is where you are going.

    Once you lose yourself, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely Because sometimes you have to step outside of the person you’ve been and remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be. The person you are.

    Part of me wants to leave, but a part of me wants to be with you. And every time I think it’s over and done, you make me come back to you; you’ve got me torn between the two.

    My mind tells me to give up, but my heart won’t let me.

     Follow your heart. If you like it, go for it. Don’t hold back. He’ll come back, he’s not going forever. Don’t drag them on either. Be with the one who makes you happy and gives you butterflies, the one who never fails to make you smile and makes your heart skip a beat.

     I’ve had a lot done to me, especially my heart, but the one thing I can say is that I’ve never felt the real deep feeling of having someone you once loved, love someone else. I wish I never knew how it felt either.

    I know that I’ve said I’m done with you a little too many times, but this time I’m gonna follow through. This time when you call me, text me, stalk me on facebook, I’m gonna ignore it. You think you can come back into my life whenever you please, get me hooked again, make me have some hope just to walk out once again. Sorry, but I’m stronger than that. I’m not gonna let you do it. You’ve screwed up too many times. I survived the break up, I can survive this.

    You choose whether or not you open your heart to love. & you know what I think? I think you do love me. Or you could love me, but you’re just too stubborn and scared to admit it because the last time you really gave your heart to someone, it got broken. And I get that. I’ve been there. But somewhere along the line, you gave up on the idea that you deserve to feel this way again.

    Sometimes there is nothing to be said. Sometimes nothing should be said. I just want to find someone who won’t run away. Someone to look me in the eyes and tell me it’s ok that things don’t always go right. That this is how life works, and how it will always work. That it’s not going to be easy. Today, tomorrow, the next day, but it will somehow get better.

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