April 22, 2013

• Nothing will stop me

  

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  To every girl who gossiped about me in corners of parties, to those who were my slap in the face, to the close minded or misunderstanding, to the one that broke my heart, and to those friends who turned out to be backstabbers. You all challenged me to become the person I wanted to be. I am stronger because of all the stupid things you put me through. No matter how much you have done to me, you have unknowingly done so much more for me. So, thanks.

  

  I know in the back of my mind that life would be so much easier if I never talked to you again. If I shut you out of my life and moved on, I could finally get over you. But you’re the only thing that makes me happy, whether it’s right or wrong and I don’t have the strength to give up on that.

  

  I’m sorry for all the times I forgot to imply something in between the lines. and I’m sorry if my heart breaking ruined your day.

  

  The thing that breaks me the most, is knowing that I wasn’t worth the fight.

  

  You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy. Somebody who doesn’t complicate your life. Somebody who won’t hurt you.

  

  It’s sad because some people hang on when they should really let go.

  

  I think we spend too much time wondering why we’re not good enough – we spend too much time overanalyzing, over-thinking, and overreacting. We waste too much time putting ourselves down, so much that we don’t ever stop to see that well, we are good enough. You are good enough. We spend too much time with our heads down and hearts closed, and never get a chance to look up from the ground and see that the sun is shining and tomorrow is another day.

  

  It’s not like I’ve stopped smiling. You put me through hell, but I’m not weak. I can pull myself together, and most of these smiles are real. No boy will get in the way of letting me live my life. I’m stronger than that.

  

  I’m in one of those moods that nothing is really wrong in my life, but my brain keeps on insisting that there is. Or maybe it’s my heart that’s doing the insisting. I can’t really tell. You know that feeling?

  

  What is it? Is it frustrating that you can’t be with this person? That there’s someone keeping you apart? That there’s something about this person that you can connect with? And whenever you’re near this person, you don’t know what to say, and you say everything that’s in your mind and in your heart, and you know that if you could just be together, that this person would help you become the best possible version of yourself?

  

  Ignore me. I’m sad and I will make you sad. We will disappoint and hurt and leave each other…and then you will forget me. I become too attached to people too easily. People like you. It’s already happened, but I don’t want to ask too much of you. I don’t want to ruin all the fun you’re having. I’ll just leave now. I’ll go away so you can enjoy yourself.

  

  I don’t like to do what people expect. Then they expect it all the time and they get disappointed when you change.

  

  Let go of what kills you and hold onto what keeps you breathing.

  

  Did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?

  

  Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be.

  

  I’m all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.

  

  It’s hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it’s even harder to give it up when you know it’s everything you want.

  

  And in some way, I think I recognize that I will never be fully over you, and that part of me will always love you. But most of me understands that this doesn’t work, and I need to move on to be happy.

  

  You’re not most people. I’ve seen how you are when you set your mind to something. You can do this and I’ll help you.

  

  Thanks for proving to me that guys can not be trusted, assholes do exist, and my heart can be broken.

  

  I’m not going to spend my life chasing people. You want to leave? Fine then, go ahead. Because I’m done chasing and caring for people who never had interest in me. Nothing lasts and people change. I’ve learned love is hard and life isn’t always what you want it to be.

  

  If you can’t solve it, it isn’t a problem, it’s reality. And sometimes reality is the hardest thing to understand, and the thing that takes the longest to realize. But once it hits you in the face, you’ll never forget it.

  

  The best thing about a picture is that it never changes. Even when the people in it do.

  

  • 3:29 pm
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