August 5, 2013

• Should’ve said no

  

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  People want to be liked. We all crave attention and affection and we all reject shame. When we get embarrassed we send a thug version of ourselves to the forefront to do our fighting for us. We’re at the top of the food chain just under fear. We don’t want to be in a relationship to hear the words “I love you”, we want to be in a relationship to say the words “I love you”. We want to feel needed, and exceptional and we hate feeling insignificant. We want to ace a hearing test. We are binary creatures, if we’re plaintiff, we want to win every dollar. If we’re the defendant, we want to guard every penny. We want to make more money than last year. We don’t want to get cancer or die in our cars and we want the same for our loved ones. We go out on weekends to try and have sex while trying not to get punched in the face. We drink so we can be ourselves and not mind it so much. We’re desperate to be understood. We want to know someone else has felt it, too. We hate being judged unfairly. We want to make the person we heard wasn’t all that into us change their minds and admit they had us wrong. We want sunny skies with a chance of killer tornadoes, just to keep the music sounding good. We take hours upon hours to admit to self consciousness. We don’t know exactly how to please each other. We just want love. In any and every form.

  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  That’s what life is about. Those moments when you feel entirely carefree, like nothing can touch you. It’s those moments that make the hard parts so worth it. It’s moments like that that make this heartache bearable. I know it’ll pass – my moments will come.

  

  You know life is worth the struggle when you look back on what you lost and realize what you have now is way better than before.

  

  Bad stuff happens sometimes. Always remember that, but remember that you have to move on, somehow. You just pick up your head and stare at something beautiful like the sky, or the ocean, and you’ll move the hell on.

  

  Sometimes we’ll be piled on the courch wearing sweats, eating the kind of ice cream we like, watching our favourite TV show, talking the shorthand way we talk that nobody understands, and I’ll realize that this is every day, simple, no big deal moment. This is my happiness.

  

  People are going to talk about you. Especially when they envy you and the life you live. Let them. You affected their lives, but they didn’t affect yours.

  

  Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.

  

  I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys. Partying before studying and most of all friends before love.

  

  I think letting you go was the smartest decision I ever made. Even though I loved you so much, I just couldn’t deal with the pain. And the times we spent together, holding each other, were the best times of my life. But no matter how much I wanted to keep you in my arms, I couldn’t. I couldn’t hold onto you, knowing that all you were going to do was hurt me. But right now, even though I still love you, I don’t need you anymore. I don’t need you to complete me. I just need you to comfort me when I’m sad, support me, and listen to me when I talk. So I guess what I’m saying is, I’m glad we’re over. I’m glad I’ve let go.

  

  A faithful person doesn’t have time to get attracted with others. His attention is only for the one he loves. A loyal person still gets attracted to others, appreciates beauty, flirts at times but at the end of the day, he knows where his heart belongs. Are you faithful or loyal?

  

  A boy asks for a picture with no clothes on. A man asks for a picture with no makeup on.

  

  It’s okay that you’re with her. I want you to know that it’s okay. I’m happy for both of you and maybe that doesn’t mean anything to you, but it means a lot to me. It means that for the first time, I’m not selfish. I have put someone else’s happiness, your happiness, above my own.

  

  I don’t regret my past. I just regret the time I’ve wasted with the wrong people.

  

  Do you know what it’s like to lose your other half? To be so sad that, when you finally have a reason to smile, it doesn’t feel natural anymore?

  

  Courage is a hard thing to figure. You can have courage based on a dumb idea or mistake, but you’re not supposed to question adults, or your coach or your teacher, because they make the rules. Maybe they know best, but maybe they don’t. It all depends on who you are, where you come from. Didn’t at least one of the six hundred guys think about giving up, and joining with the other side? I mean, valley of death that’s pretty salty stuff. That’s why courage it’s tricky. Should you always do what others tell you to do? Sometimes you might not even know why you’re doing something. I mean any fool can have courage. But honor, that’s the real reason for you either do something or you don’t. It’s who you are and maybe who you want to be. If you die trying for something important, then you have both honor and courage, and that’s pretty good. I think that’s what the writer was saying, that you should hope for courage and try for honor. And maybe even pray that the people telling you what to do have some, too.

  

  I miss the last few months. When times were easy and carefree. I miss the way we were somewhat friends. I miss the way you used to look at me, joke with me, make fun of me. I miss the way I felt the butterflies every time you look at me and believe me, that was a lot of butterflies – so many obvious butterflies. I miss the way you say my name, through all your nicknames, when you pretended to scold me, and when you just called my name and stared. I miss the way being near you just made everything seem so right. At peace, serene. I miss the way everyone saw us together, wanted us together, told us we were meant for each other. I miss the way I believe them. I miss the way I fell for you… hard. I fell so hard. I miss the way that when I looked at you, your eyes lit up and you smiled, really smiled at me. I miss the way you would make fun of me, and I would make fun of you. The way you acted all pissed and then started talking to me again like nothing happened. I miss the way being near you made me feel breathless, made my heart pound, made me feel happy. I miss the way things were between you and me. I miss you.

  

  I don’t know I just I love you more than anything. When people told me don’t be with him, I was like you obviously don’t know him because he’s the most amazing guy I’ve ever met in my life. I never had a relationship like this; it’s so fun, it’s so everything and you’re always there and I know for my whole life that you’ll always be there. And I know that you’re the most loyal, amazing, loving everything person and I love you more than anything in the whole world.

  

  I want to be with you, I just want to be with you. If I could hold your hand for the rest of my life, I would never be scared again. I want to hold you tight and I want to tell you every second how much you mean to me because nobody has ever meant more. I want to be able to help you and make you smile, just like you make me smile.

  

  The thing is, you make me happy. You walked in when it seemed like the rest of the world walked out. You were there, you are there. I never need to pretend when I’m around you, when I’m talking, when I’m with you. You’re hilarious; you make me laugh all the time. You seem to pick up when something’s wrong before everyone else does and you know exactly what to say to make it all okay, and even if it’s only for a little while, it helps. The thing is, I love you. Thank you for everything.

  

  • 12:41 am
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