February 2, 2013

• Lips like sugar

  

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  Fight for me. I want you to beg me to stay and tell me how horrible you’re doing without me. Show me you need me and want me in your life. That you’ll do anything to make me stay. Show me that I’m the only girl for you, and no other girl compares. Chase after me. Don’t let me give up, show me I’m making a big mistake by leaving. Show me how important I am to you. Don’t just let me walk away.

  

  Don’t give up, it takes a while. I have seen this look before and it’s alright, you’re not alone if you don’t love this anymore. I hear that you slipped again. I’m here ’cause I know you’ll need a friend. And you know that accidents can happen and it’s okay. We all fall off the wagon sometimes. It’s not your whole life. It’s only one day. You haven’t thrown everything away.

  

  I finally realized that cutting people from my life does not mean I hate them, it simply means, I respect me.

  

  I need to trade my heart with my liver so I can care less and drink more.

  

  We think we know who we are but we don’t, not until something bad happens to us.

  

  Stilettos are supposed to hurt. That’s why there’s booze.

  

  My mind has fucked me over more times than any man ever could.

  

  Now that I’m older, I know much more than I did back then. But the more I learn, the more I can’t understand. And I’ve become content with this life, where I drink too much and don’t believe in much of anything. and I lie to myself and say it’s for the best.

  

  I can’t tell you why the people that have meant the most to me pop up at the weirdest times. But I have a feeling in my heart that those people are meant to be in my life, because no matter how long we don’t talk, no matter how much we argue, things go back to normal no matter what.

  

  Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix.

  

  It’s time for a change so if you don’t hear from me, you’re one of them.

  

  Don’t talk to me. Don’t try to make me laugh. Don’t make a joke in front of me. Don’t look at me. Don’t act as if I give a shit about you. You might not hate me, and I might not hate you, but the things you said about me are absolutely unforgivable.

  

  Shut the hell up and stop trying to make me regret what I’m saying or make me feel bad. You might of cared or liked me or whatever, I can’t read your mind, but the point is you sure as hell didn’t show it and that’s the part that matters. All you had to do was call me at night and hangout with me a little but you… were too busy trying to act like you didn’t care, to show that you did. And I’m sick of waiting around for something that isn’t going to happen cause I’ve been back and forth with you long enough to know that it’s gonna be this way as long as I let it.

  

  Only time will determine when and how you’re going to move on. It might not be right away like you want it to be, but eventually one day you’ll wake up and realize that somewhere along the way, that piercing feeling you’ve always felt  inside your chest faded and went away while you were too busy living life to notice.

  

  There’s nothing like the deep breathing after laughing that hard.  Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.

  

  Best way to raise your standards? Get off your knees.

  

  Sometimes the fight isn’t even worth it. You could be fighting just cause you can or because you miss the other person too much; but in the end the fight doesn’t even matter, what matters is if you still love that person at the end of it, no matter what happens. You gotta go through the clouds to get a clear vision of what really matters.

  

  When faced with tragedy, we gather as many people around us as we possibly can. Mere acquaintances become best friends. Enemies become kindred spirits. We need people so later we can look back and say, ‘I went through that with them.’ People who can remind us that what we experienced, what we felt, was real.

  

  Karma has more balls then me, & is by far a much bigger bitch than I could ever be. So I have no doubt in my mind that you will get exactly what you deserve.

  

  When you’re thinking about how much you miss me, and I’m completely fine. Remember how I felt, and remind yourself this is what you wanted. Because with every day coming and going, I’m learning how to be okay without you. And I can’t wait for the day when I get to look at you and feel absolutely nothing.

  

  I will promise myself that I won’t care. I’ve seen this mistake once before, with your games, but I will never fall for it again. I won’t forget you. I’m not gonna let you win, but I’m tired of lying, tired of fighting you. And it’s not going to change. You asked for my heart, you know that I’m down. But not the way you lie to me and tear it all apart. And beg for me to stay. And you know it makes no sense, counting down, ’til you mess around. And I know you can’t ever change. When I’m trembling, and I’m ready to relive the past. Break the silence. Pretend it’s not forever, I’ll pull myself together, I’ll say that I’ll forget him, I’ll breathe. And I’ll say he never hurt me, and look at it as learning, and laugh about the good and the bad. Because I won’t live forever, we don’t belong together, I know I’ll feel better one day when I can make it through.

  

  Here’s a lesson for every single girl out there: Never, ever settle. You may think you aren’t gorgeous, smart or have too many insecurities to count, but there is going to be someone in this world who truly loves you for you. Don’t ever think you have to put up with some boy’s shit, because he’s the first one to show some interest. You’re beautiful in your own individual way, so never lower your standards.

  

  Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren’t you anymore? If you were suddenly gone how would your world react? Whatever you imagined was wrong. There’s nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean: it’s deep and dark and bigger than all of us. And pain is like a thief in the night. Quiet. Persistent. Unfair. Diminished by time and faith and love.

  

  • 1:29 am
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